Let's face it: English is
a crazy language.
There is no EGG in EGGPLANT,
nor HAM in HAMBURGER;
neither APPLE nor PINE in
PINEAPPLE.
And while no one knows what is
in a HOTDOG,
you can be pretty sure it
isn't CANINE.
ENGLISH MUFFINS were not
invented in ENGLAND
nor FRENCH FRIES in
FRANCE.
SWEETMEATS are CANDIES, while
SWEETBREADS,
which aren't SWEET, are
MEAT.
We take English for
granted.
But if we explore its
PARADOXES,
we find that QUICKSAND can
work SLOWLY,
BOXING RINGS are
SQUARE,
and a GUINEAPIG is neither
from GUINEA nor is it a PIG.
And why is it that WRITERS
WRITE,
but FINGERS DON'T FING,
GROCERS don't GROCE,
and HAMMERS don't
HAM?
If the plural of TOOTH is
TEETH,
why isn't the plural of
BOOTH, BEETH?
One GOOSE, 2 GEESE. So, one
MOOSE, 2 MEESE?
Is CHEESE the plural of
CHOOSE?
One MOUSE, 2
MICE.
One LOUSE, 2
LICE.
One HOUSE, 2 HICE
?
If TEACHERS TAUGHT, why
didn't PREACHERS
PRAUGHT?
If a VEGETARIAN eats
VEGETABLES,
what does a HUMANITARIAN
eat?
Why do people RECITE at a
PLAY, and PLAY at a
RECITAL?
We SHIP BT TRUCK but SEND
CARGO BY SHIP?
We have NOSES that RUN and
FEET that SMELL?
PARK on DRIVEWAYS and DRIVE on
PARKWAY?
You get IN and OUT of a
car,
yet you get ON and OFF a
bus.
And, in closing, if FATHER is
POP,
how come MOTHER's not
MOP....