"I wonder what would happen if you
knew.
If you knew about the depression, the anxiety.
The thoughts. God, if only you could hear those
thoughts. Would you still push me aside? Would
you still find excuses, make up little lies, and
throw me away? Probably not. If you knew how
close I was, how close, you wouldn't leave me alone.
But that would be pretend, wouldn't it? You wouldn't really love me.
You would just feel guilty. I don't want you to feel guilty.
That's why I don't tell you about the thoughts. That's why I
don't tell you just how close I am. So, when I jump, don't feel guilty.
I never told you anyway."
If you knew about the depression, the anxiety.
The thoughts. God, if only you could hear those
thoughts. Would you still push me aside? Would
you still find excuses, make up little lies, and
throw me away? Probably not. If you knew how
close I was, how close, you wouldn't leave me alone.
But that would be pretend, wouldn't it? You wouldn't really love me.
You would just feel guilty. I don't want you to feel guilty.
That's why I don't tell you about the thoughts. That's why I
don't tell you just how close I am. So, when I jump, don't feel guilty.
I never told you anyway."
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