Jewels15

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Joined: October 30, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 232834

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Hey the name is Julie. People say I'm pretty fun to be around.. And that I am always such a happy person.
Well here's what I'd love for a lot of these people to know..
I'm insecure with everything about me. I find myself hidng my wrists in bracelets that hide my darkest secrets. I'd like to say it's all in my past but honestly. It gets the best of me sometimes.. Lost and broken is truly the person I am inside. I feel as if I let the friends and family down constantly. And I know I do..
I smoke, drink, and etc. Just to calm down and try to forget my past. Well I say past but it's honestly more like my present and future. I hate a lot of things. But what I do love I love with everything I am. Currently in the depth of denial about things I wish I could take back and erase from existence. But, drowning my sorrows in tears is the best I got to work with. I'm afraid to love.. I've been hurt way more then people think.. I don't share my past for the simple fact I'm afraid to lose the people closest to me. Not even my best friends know about my past. I just have trust issues. I reject any and all information that people make known to me unless they can make me lose an argument about it. But, usually when I reject things (which is pretty much everything) the fact or fiction will always be rejected. I've lost almost all faith in everything. I just have a mask I where around sensless people. And they can't see through it.. No one can. Not even the people I confide the most in. They are all shut in the dark around me. I smile when I want to frown. I laugh when I want to cry. I just put on a show for everyone. But I just want one person JUST ONE.. To look at me in the eyes and say "You're not okay. I can see it everyday. You're breaking apart. Tell me what's wrong. I'll listen and care" But no. That's never gonna happen.