Best Jews Quotes Ever






it's March. someone please enlighten me
as to why there's still snow on the ground.




 


I JUST WOKE UP AT 5:12 IN THE MORNING TO MY BLARING ALARM. LIKE MOST MORNINGS, I WAS FREAKING OUT LIKE A MANIAC ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME I HAD TO GET READY. THEN BEING THE WONDERFUL CHILD THAT I AM WHO NEVER PROCRASTINATES, I CHECKED MY SCHOOL'S WEBSITE. THEY CANCELLED SCHOOL. I COULD'VE SLEPT ANOTHER SIX HOURS! THEY CANCELLED IT IN THE MORNING! WHO DOES THAT? I AM ACTUALLY SO MAD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M UP. THAT WAS JUST PLAIN CRUEL OF THEM. I HAD AN OUTFIT PICKED OUT IN MY HEAD AND EVERYTHING!!! I HAD JUST JUMPED INTO MY SKINNY JEANS AND THEN I CHECKED THE WEBSITE!! I COULD'VE BEEN UP UNTIL 2:00 AM LAST NIGHT ON WITTY OR TUMBLR OR WRITING OR READING!!! THIS SUCKS!!! WELL, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, AT LEAST I HAVE A SNOW DAY, RIGHT?

 


 

theism |ˈθēˌizəm| noun
belief in the existence of a g-d or g-ds, esp. belief in one g-d as creator of the
universe, intervening in it and sustaining a personal relation to "his" creatures.


atheism |ˈāθēˌizəm| noun
the theory or belief that G-d does not exist.

agnostic |agˈnästik| noun
a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of G-d
or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nordisbelief in G-d


know what a word means first, before you use it.




 





*PASSOVER*
  day 1: okay, i can deal with no bread. it won't be that bad.
  day 2: this whole "no bread" thing isn't as fun as it sounded.
  day 3: seriously, i want bread right now.
  day 4: yeah. i'm done with this. where's the bread at?
  day 5: like, actually, i'm done with this holiday. bread?
  day 6: i wasn't kidding. this isn't even funny anymore.
  day 7: this stopped being funny 5 days before it started.
  day 8: yup. i'm officially 23794483% done with this holiday.





 

 
When People Find Out I'm Jewish:
Me: When you found out I was Jewish you invited me to a pool party that was really a baptisim. 

 












Happy Passover!!!

!!!!!!!חג שמח



 
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