Ravenlight

what do you mean "no pets allowed"

this is my sister.



 

what men thin women love to be called:
babe
baby
sweetie
honey
sexy
what women ACTUALLY like to be called:
lamp shade
broken chair
samuel l jackson
dirty dish rag
mr clean



 

Freshman year me:
Sassy Teacher: i'm gonna call your mom amanda if you don't do this work!
Me: ooh tell her i said hi!!
class: OOOOHHHH WHAT WAIT DID THAT JUST HAPPEN
class: SWEET INNOCENT QUIET AMANDA JUST SAID THAT?!??!

Senior year me:
teacher: *actually calls my mother to tell her i was being "rude" to her* ("rude" in her case was me telling her i've never gotten below an 85 in math and because i was getting a 75 with her as a teacher, she must suck as a teacher.)
me: *walks into a class full of sophomores* YOU'RE A B.TCH I AM 18 YEARS OLD YOU CAN SAY I'M BEING RUDE TO MY FACE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CALL MY MOMMY

english teacher: i don't know what to tell you amanda, you can't pass it in, it's a week late and you had plenty of time to buy the movie, come talk to me about borrowing it, and watch the movie and do the assignment.
me: are you joking? you can call up my sister right now and she can tell you about how much gas i wasted going back and forth to places trying to find this movie. and i'm not gonna waste five more dollars to rent a movie on something i will NEVER watch again. and it's funny how you get offended about me calling you a lesbian when it's actually true AND THEN you show a class, unexpectedly a movie with racial slurs and the "f" word thrown around. so you're a b.tch and have a nice day.

my mom every time: did you really call her a b.tch? ahahahahahah



 

the first time I ever swore in front of my mom

was at my college orientation and I was explaining how sh.tty the dorms where and she literally just laughed and said "are you actually that sh.tty? hahahahaha" my mom is better than your mom



 

when I was in 8th grade I switched schools

right and when I first got into class, some guy came up to me and said "oprah is my life. I love her." I had my own type of Josh Nichols in my class



 

no we don't use that room.

there once was a spider in it



 

it's totally fine for a teacher to

to have their phone out in class but it's blasphemy the second a student takes it out



 

the downside of being a virgin is that

you can literally be used as a blood sacrifice at any given moment.



 

love me or leave me

(your credit card number)



 

I think feminism should be called something different.

like maybe common sense or something