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Shoutout to librarians

oh sorry



"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say."

     -Tyrion Lannister (George R. R. Martin)

This world has taught me to always look at things with a critical eye-
and to always be the distant one, in order to save yourself from being left behind
to always put yourself first: because no one else will –
and to always view things with a sense of humour, but to never take crap from anybody.
This world has taught me to be the controlling one, to never be controlled –
and to always smile, yes; but also have time to cry
but to never cry in front of anyone, because that displays weakness and weakness is always wrong.
This world has taught me that being vulnerable will get you nowhere, and let’s face it-
sympathy is an extinct emotion, the mere traces of it left behind on the fake smiles on people’s faces
because that is all that’s left of our materialistic world and everyone in it.
This world has taught me that caring for anyone other than yourself is pointless
because in the end you become the useless one.
Yes, the world has taught me many things; but I can’t seem to learn my lesson.  


Been studying French for four years at school and all I know is gracias...
 

I pushed away the one person that was always there for me, that I trusted, that never hurt me. Why am I such an idiot?





                 Just cuase i'm not dead doesn't mean im alive..
teenager (noun)

when you're too young
for half the things you
want to do and too old to
do the other half . 


Tonight I listened to a voicemail you left me three months ago. In it, you told me to go f*ck myself. I still remember that night. I still remember those words rolling off your tongue so gracefully. I remember wondering how someone so beautiful could be so cruel..
Two months ago I called you at 3am. I expected you to ignore it or send me to voicemail. Those are two of the things you were best at. You answered and I felt my heart begin to race. You probably thought it was because I missed you, but it really was because I didn't expect you to answer. I asked you how you were and you there quiet and confused. It's like you forgot I existed or that I was a part of your life. You told me "fine" and I smiled. That was the last conversation we had. I made sure to let go of you, and every negative word that was said in a peaceful way.
Fast forward two months, and I still wonder how you are. If you heard me say this, you'd probably blush like you used to when I say these things because I still love you, or because I still want you. But that's not the case.
You see, six months ago I was jumping through hoops to please you. To make sure you were happy before myself. To make sure I was the one causing your happiness. But it's not six months ago. It is now, and now I miss you. I miss when you'd call just to see how my day was. And how you seemed to care, even if you didn't. I miss the friendship and the secrets and the stories. And maybe someday it'll be different. Maybe you'll call me on a Tuesday afternoon and ask me how my day was.
These are the things I think about before my eyes close and I'm rewarded with sleep.
But for right now?
GO F.CK YOURSELF.
 



If you gave me a chance, I would take it. It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it. Know with all of your heart, you can't shame me.
When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be.



If what we had was real,
how could you be fine

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