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posted April 5, 2012 at 1:28am UTC tagged with
funny
more quotes by StormWolf
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NCIS #96
Ziva: [to a suspect who has grabbed her butt] Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!
♥
NMF/NMQ
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NCIS #98
Woman: From the video presentation it's clear that sexual harassment can take many forms in the workplace. A coworker with elevator eyes looking you up and down, a coworker shows you a cartoon or photo of a sexual nature.
Tony: If you're lucky.
Woman: A coworker's hand accidentally brushes up against your body.
Ziva: If you're really lucky.
Woman: Physical contact can be divided into three categories. Green light includes normal behavior. Yellow light includes borderline behavior such as hugging someone...
[Abby raises her hand.]
Woman: Yes?
Abby: What's wrong with hugging people? I hug people all the time.
Woman: You may see it as friendly, but your coworkers may find it offensive.
Abby: You guys get offended when I hug you?!
[everyone mutters no]
Abby: [happily] I am hugging you all in my mind right now.
Woman: DOD policy is very clear about this point, miss. You must first ask permission before making physical contact with a coworker.
Abby: Like, every time?
Woman: Yes. Finally there's red light behavior such as deliberate unwelcome touching
[Ziva leans forward and licks Tony's ear and neck, causing him to stand up in suprise.]
Woman: Another question?
Tony: Uh, yeah. If you slap someone on the back of the head like this...
[slaps McGee's head, McGee slaps back]
would that be considered inappropriate behavior?
Woman: Absolutely. Are you saying that this has actually happened?
[Jenny looks at Gibbs. Gibbs shares a look with Tony.]
Tony: ...No. Just wondering, that's all.
[Palmer raises his hand.]
Woman: Yes?
Palmer: What if your job includes touching, ah, naked people...
Woman: That is inappropriate at any time.
Palmer: Even if they're dead?
Woman: [sternly] Why are you touching dead naked people?!
Palmer: Well, I work in autopsy...
♥
NMF/NMQ
related quotes
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We met in kindergarten. We were best friends.
She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why.
I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it.
She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny.
We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper,
"I like your eyes."
One day, I was playing basketball,
waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me.
Suddenly, I got a phone call.
It was her mom. She was in a panic.
I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like,
"Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!"
I had no clue what happened,
so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on.
I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere.
Then I saw her, Kelsey.
My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her.
"Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying.
I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it.
Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away,
the main source of blood coming from her head.
I went to the hospital that night,
I went every night.
in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it.
The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused.
It was all my fault.
If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her,
she wouldn't be going through this.
It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up.
On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open.
"Kelsey?" I called.
She wasn't quite awake yet.
Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside.
I did, for a few hours.
One of the doctors finally came out saying,
"I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?"
"Yes," I whispered.
He bit his lip.
"She woke up, she's fine,
but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss."
"Are you serious?" I almost shouted.
"I'm afraid so."
I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't.
I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again.
"You can go see her if you want,
but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom."
I walked in, trembling in horror.
I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept.
I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again.
I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out.
Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered,
"I don't know you, but I like your eyes."
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I want a person who
comes into my life by accident,
& stays on purpose.
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When guys get jealous
it's kinda cute (':
When girls get jealous
World war III is about to start.
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Only ninjas can read this quote.
Congratulations. If you're reading this, you're a ninja.
To prove your dedication to the ninja society, please
favourite this quote, and let the non-ninjas wonder as
to why this has so many favourites. NINJAS RULE
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