Love Quote #6784069
all quotes · love · life · true · sad ·

Consider me a reliable second choice, always here when your something

Consider me a reliable second choice, always here when your something better falls apart.

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valerieexrainbowss 1 decade ago

"something better"

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cirkel96 1 decade ago

precisely!

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cirkel96

posted June 5, 2013 at 11:05pm UTC tagged with love, life, true, sad

more quotes by cirkel96

I hate how my thighs touch. And how curvy I am. I hate the way my hair falls, parted down the middle-not special at all. I hate that I’m blind without glasses or contacts. I hate the way my eyes crinkle shut when I smile or laugh. I hate my tiny feet. I hate that I’m five feet and two inches tall. I hate that I weigh 132 lbs. I hate that there are scars all over my body. I hate the way my knees have these weird indents in them. I hate my tiny hands. I hate how I can’t keep polish on my fingernails for longer than an hour without ruining it. I hate the sound of my own voice. I hate my stupid short fingers. I hate the way my legs look so fat when I sit down wearing shorts. But the things that I hate about myself are more than skin deep. I hate the way I’m allergic to basically every season, and the majority of lotions and perfumes. I hate the way my throat starts to hurt when I don’t get enough sleep. I hate that I never get enough sleep. I hate that I compulsively wash my hands multiple times. I hate that if I don’t follow my daily routine perfectly I have to start over. I hate that I over think every little detail of my life, and every single thing that I say. I hate the panic attacks, and the feeling that everyone is constantly judging me, talking about me, laughing at me. I hate that nobody really likes me. I hate that I always look for the best in people and get screwed over for it. I hate the way I get migraines when I overstress. I hate that I hate myself every time I take a bite of food. I hate that I weigh myself everyday, and curse myself if there’s no drop in my weight. I hate the way that I want to keep losing weight, until I’m skinny and perfect. I hate how I want to be so pretty. I hate that somedays pain is the only thing reminding me that I’m still alive. I hate that I hurt my parents. I hate that they have to worry about me all of the time. I hate that they think they’ve failed me somehow. I hate that I have to tell them that it’s not their fault. I hate that I don’t care about anything anymore. I hate that I used to have a plan, but now I’m just drifting through my life. I hate that I have to put my friends before school work because they’re the only reason that I am able to fight the urges. I hate that I used to love school, but now it just makes me even more depressed than I already am. I hate that I am completely dependant on anti-anxiety drugs and anti-depressants. I hate that my mom knows that the only way I function normally is pumped with chemicals. I hate that I can’t remember the last time that I really truly cared about my future. I hate that I am able to look the people who love me in the eye and tell them that nothing is wrong, that I am just fine. I hate that I have become so good at lying that I often believe myself. I hate that everything around me turns to crap. I hate that I’m so selfish. That it’s my mom who might have cancer not me. I hate that I’m making it about me. I hate that I don’t know what I’d do without her. I hate that I always count on him. I hate that I’ve made him hate me too. I hate that he pities me and still talks to me. I hate that I believed him when he told me he loved me. I hate that I meant it when I told him I loved him too. I hate that when I’m sad he’s the first person I think of texting. I hate that he replies when it’s serious. I hate that I keep pushing away really good guys for someone who only wants me when he can’t have me. I hate that I don’t hate him at all. I hate that I have no sense of empathy for the things that everyone around me goes through. I hate that I want to feel bad but can’t. I hate that I know there are times when I should feel a certain way but I just can’t. I hate that I’ve become comfortable in my depression. That I don’t have the will to fight it off. I hate all of these things about myself. And I hate that I am able to accept other people hating me. I hate that I hate me too. I hate that that doesn’t even phase me anymore.
I'm sorry Momma I can't answer your questions with what you want to hear I don't know what happened to your precious little girl And I'm unsure of how you got stuck with someone Who looks like your daughter, and in a physical way is your daughter Yet who's eyes are dead, Who's heart is hard, Who's vision is jaded I'm sorry Momma I never meant to be like this I never was before I couldn't tell you how it happened, How suddenly nothing mattered And the things that used to bring me such joy Ended up feeling like chores I'm sorry momma For being so close but so far away For losing my passion, my motivation, my love of life I know you're convinced that I'm still in here somewhere Trapped in this shell of my former self, Screaming to be brought back to life. I'm not as sure as you are. You've always been stronger than me, Had more faith than me, I'm sorry momma I'm such a let down of a daughter I know that it's so hard for you When you did everything right, Yet everything has turned out to be so wrong. I love you momma, More than anyone else in this god forsaken world And I'm thankful for everyday with you, And how you can make everything seem like it's going to be okay. And if you promise to never give up on me, I swear I will try to get better. I will ask for help when I need it, Instead of drowning. I will beg for help, When I feel those bad things coming on, I will work so hard, To never have to say, I'm sorry momma again.

Consider me a reliable second choice, always here when your something

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1 Wittian likes this

cirkel96

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