He came back!!! But Why??? Now that I was learning how to live

He came back!!! But Why??? Now that I was learning how to live without him , He suddenly appear. Idk what I feel anymore, I'm super confused 😖 . When I saw him,I felt........ I felt so many feelings that I can't even describe 😩 . But at all those feelings,I looked inside my heart ♥ and I realized that I still care about him. And the worst thing was that my brain told me That I shouldn't care about him after all he has done to me . All in all honestly he hurt me so bad,but I should admit it that I hurt myself more than he did . That because I have put him before myself. After all he was my first love 💘 and I will never forget him . But also I will not let him hurt me anymore.