ConfessionsOfACutter

Cutting is my escape from Life.

My best friend bosted my mood.
I have known her all my life.
Literally.
When we were younger we rode the same bus,
We used to always play Bratz on the bus,
until I had to get off.
We used to laugh at one of our friends' names,
Ocean. And she would always get mad
at me because I would never let her play Bratz with us.
Then me and Zion weren't friends, then we were, it has
always been back and fourth with us.
But this year, we became best friends again.
And after Austin broke up with me, and I told her,
She looked surprised and asked why
So I told her.
and today she told me that he needs to stop being stupid and come to
Church to talk to me.
And she told me I could be myself around her
and that she trusts me.
Zion is my best friend ever (:
Since I was a little kid (:

I want to self-harm again.
For so many different reasons.
But how would I cover up all the
cuts from my family and friends?
I want to feel again.
That was the only thing that made
me feel alive.
 

So yesterday at Kings Island
 my best friend Tyler made me ride
The Flight of Fear. He made me wait
2 hours just to ride it.
He told me it didn't go upside down,
Because he knows how much I hate those rides.
When we got on, it went upside down.
So after we were off I yelled at him.
We then went on White River Rafting.
Tyler & I got SOAKED.
And our friends,
Peyton and Aiden
didn't.
They are lucky.
<3
Kings Island Rocked! (:


 

So, I'm not as sad as I was yesterday.
(:
But he didn't come to church.
So I talked to his brother.
He kept winking at me.. it was funny.
Austin didn't come, but yet he wanted to talk to me.
Kay... shows me how much you really wanted to talk.
I don't even think he trusted me. I don't think he will.
and I can't be in a relationship with someone if they
don't trust me.
Just saying.
Bye c:
Goodnight.
Just had to vent.

I wish I would just die in my sleep.

I will change

I hate when people tell me about my own boyfriend.
It's like, you don't know him.
I hate when he broke up with me and my friend said,
You were only with him for a month, chill.
It felt longer then a month.
It felt like a year to me.
I love him, I miss him too.
I wish I could just talk to him and tell him everything.
But I'm too weak.. I'm too scared.

I wish a car would hit me.
Or that someone would go by and shoot me.
I wish I fell on to a knife.
I wish I would die.
No, this isn't just about my boyfriend breaking up with me.
It's because of him, bullies, school, friends,
ex friends, exs, me, and my family.

 

I wish I had a friend that lived near me,
so when I'm sad I could go to his or her house,
and them just hug me until I'm done crying.
For me to be able to always go to their house and just be welcomed.
But of course, everyone in my neighborhood hates me.