JessieRider2yourhome

Even my brain is giving up on me.

 The chances of me cheating on you is a blind girl seeing a dead man tell a deaf person that he can hear. But baby, you didn't see it...

As foolish as it may seem, I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.

A man meets a genie and the genie says "You are my master I shall grant you one wish" 

and the man says "Make a bridge between the biggest ocean on this earth"

The genie laughes and says " I am only a genie not a God I cannot make that happen. Choose something else."

And the man says "Alright, I want to be able to understand girls" 

And the Genie responds " About that bridge..."

I don't get girls sometimes,
They flirt with you all night, then when you ask them out, they claim to have a boyfriend.

A guy blaming a girl for not being good enough is like

A musician blaming the guitar for not sounding good enough
 

Friend: How do you know your girl moved out?

Me: When the only thing left in the shower was a bar of soap.

What Girls Say:

Could we go shopping together?

What Boys Hear:

I'm broke, could we go spend your money?

Top 3 Things Girls wanna hear from boys..
1. Marry Me
2. I love you
3. I do
Top 3 Things Boys wanna hear from girls...
1. Beer's in the fridge
2. I gotchya a new video game
3. What do you want on your sandwhich?

Top 3 Things Girls wanna hear from boys..
1. Marry Me
2. I love you
3. I do
Top 3 Things Boys wanna hear from girls...
1. Beer's in the fridge
2. I gotchya a new video game
3. What do you want on your sandwhich?