SecretsAndScars_x

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Joined: October 30, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 232593

















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i'm never good enough. ever.
hiiii. you can calll me Jenna. that is no where even close to my name. but this, this is my secret account. where i can vent, and not get judged, yelled at, made fun of, or lectured. why would i need a secret account? i cut. i starve myself. i cry, a lot. i've carved names, words, and numbers into myself. i've attempted suicide. i've been called: ugly. fat. hideous. worthless. stupid. dumb. annoying. weird. bitch. slut. hoe. whore. you name it. that's only one reason why i started doing all of those bad things. other reasons are: my parents hit me. i've been slapped across my face, spit on, gotten my hair pulled, thrown onto the ground, kicked, shoved, pushed, and one time, my own mother put her hand over my mouth, trying to shut out my screaming. trying to suffocate me. another reason is my ex boyfriend. i'm still in love with him, while he barely knows i exsist. one day when i was in sixth grade, he called me fat in front of the whole class. i've been starving myself ever since, trying to be everybody's idea of "perfect." fourth reason, is my family. no, it's not just my parents. my whole entire family gangs up on me. "why are you so fucking quiet?" or "why are you always so tired? wake up." or "you're so fucking weird." anything and everything they pick on me about. if only they knew silence is my loudest scream for help, and i'm always tired from crying myself to sleep at night. the last and final reason, being my friends. a lot of my friends do the same things as me. some know about what i go through, and others don't. this girl, who was basically my bestfriend, her name is, well, we'll call her Alyssa. she promised me she stopped doing all of those things. and she didn't. she lied to me. for months. and now, i'm alone. with no one to turn to. all i have is witty..

so leave a comment, follow me, get to know me.

i love to meet new people(:
the only person i hate, is myself.
now that you know all of the bad things, how about i tell you some things about me. it'll be stupid, but i need something to fill up this box(: well, i have brown eyes. long brown, extremely curly hair. i straighten it all of the time though. i'm short, but so is the rest of my family. i'm 13, and in seventh grade. i live in a small state, where everybody hates each other. i'm fat, in my opinion. others think i'm "skinny." hah. i do gymnastics, it's my passion. i love it more then anything. i'm a cheerleader. captain actually. it's okay, i guess. what else?..
hmmmm. i'm recently single. i have a lot of friends. only six people know about what i've done to myself. but out of those six, i only trust three. the other three found out on their own. out of those three, the one that knows the most, is Alyssa. the other is Morgan, my bestfriend. and Michael, my best guy friend. i have a real witty account also. i have a lot of top quotes, that i don't deserve. and well, that's about it. wanna know more? just ask(:
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Quotes by SecretsAndScars_x



confession #22
they wouldn't talk to me. she yelled. he ignored. she hit. he cried.
two completely opposite parents, that both agree on one thing.
that I shouldn't date him. why should I listen to them?

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confession #21
I have this one teacher. for some reason, she really likes me. when I was absent, she gave me the papers I needed, but she does that for everyone else too. when I was reading over mine, I noticed a little note in the corner. it said I missed your pretty face! (:
I'll never throw that paper away.

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confession #20
I know you'd rather text her then me. it's okay, i don't want to text you anymore. i just want to be with you.

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confession #19
I don't look at her secret account. I don't look at her quotes.
I don't check to see if she has texted me. I give up.

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confession #18
Eric: to be honest, you are pretty. I ain't gonna lie(:
when he said that, I laughed. people lie so much. it's sad.

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confession #17
who do you turn to, when you have no one left?
what do you say, when you're filled with regret?
do you wipe your tears as they fall down your cheek?
or do you let them fall, and let them leak?
 

(i wrote that myself. terrible, isn't it.)

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confession #16
I picked up the razor, and I put it back down. up, down. up, down. up, down. my phone lit up. I looked through my contacts, and tried to decide who would care if I was dead. not counting my family, I counted 5 people. 5 people out of 132.  when I got to Alyssa's name, I cried. because I know she doesn't care anymore. did she before? will she ever again? will she ever look at me again, let alone speak to me?
(yay, more scars for me..)

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confession #15
the best thing anyone could ever tell me, is that I made their day. maybe I can save someone else, because I don't even matter anymore. I hate myself, more then i've ever hated anyone.

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confession #14
Eric just told me I was one of his bestfriends and that I can always make him laugh. that made me smile. maybe i'm not completely worthless to everyone.

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confession #13
today at gymnastics, I actually did good. I accomplished something. but, it wasn't good enough. I have to work harder and harder and push myself more and more, until I break.

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