Confessions
of a Teenage
Perfectionist
Confession Number Seven: the perfect mask is hard to wear.
Aching with severe pain, I walk clumsily to my locker, crumbling slowly under the pressure of my bag.
My arms, bruises hidden carefully underneath a long sleeved shirt, burn from the pressure applied by the weight, and my face, covered with an extra layer of makeup, feels puffy and swollen under the disguise. My legs are like spaghetti strands, ready to snap.
I feel the relief as the bag slide off of my shoulder, and I pack my books back into my locker.
I can tell when he suddenly comes up behind me.
"Hey, Colyssa, I'm so so sorry I fell asleep last night. My mom freaked at me." He sounds distressed. Good, he deserves to be.
I ignore him.
"Will you please just say something? I'm sorry if I got you in trouble for curfew or whatever."
frustrated, I get up and try to walk away. He grabs my wrist, I try not to scream.
"I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"You can't." I spit at him, full of venom, trying to escape again. He pulls me closer, and the pain in my bruised wrist causes me to yelp.
A look of confusion comes over his face, but he doesn't let go. He gently slides up the sleeve, and catches a glimpse of the crisscrossed blue black and purple.
"Colyssa...what the hell happened to you?!" he slide it up further, confriming that yes, they do go all the way up to my shoulder. I jerk my arm away, causing more pain, and back away a few steps.
"DAMNIT COLYSSA TELL ME!" he advances, looking angry yet concerned.
I don't want to be shouted at again. I certainly never want to be touched. I turn away from him, and run down the hall out the door, and into the parking lot. He easily keeps up, coming out behind me.
"GO AWAY!" I order him, falling to my knees, trying to stop the inevitable tears, "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"
He comes up slowly, tentatively, and leans down to look at me. He lifts my head up, and uses his thumbs to wipe away the hurt. But with it comes the makeup, and now he's even more distraught, noticing my injuires are far worse than expected.
"Who did this to you?" He asks, wiping oh so gently, looking into my eyes.
The anger has evaporated, leaving deep concern in its wake.
"It's..it's my fault." I tell him, flustered by his touch.
"You did this to yourself?"
"I...I lost....control. Of everything." I stammer.
"Remember when I told you that you just didn't know how to say anything? Well I think it's time for you to be heard."
I take a deep breath, to regulate my breathing and clarify my speech.
"You're messing up everything Josh! It was all perfect before you showed up! Stay out of my life!"
Authors Note: thanks for reading guys!(: feedback? sorry I'm doing a lousy job on the notifications :| my computer doesn't like me, but I promise I'll get them this time. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Enjoy!
Confession Number Seven: the perfect mask is hard to wear.
Aching with severe pain, I walk clumsily to my locker, crumbling slowly under the pressure of my bag.
My arms, bruises hidden carefully underneath a long sleeved shirt, burn from the pressure applied by the weight, and my face, covered with an extra layer of makeup, feels puffy and swollen under the disguise. My legs are like spaghetti strands, ready to snap.
I feel the relief as the bag slide off of my shoulder, and I pack my books back into my locker.
I can tell when he suddenly comes up behind me.
"Hey, Colyssa, I'm so so sorry I fell asleep last night. My mom freaked at me." He sounds distressed. Good, he deserves to be.
I ignore him.
"Will you please just say something? I'm sorry if I got you in trouble for curfew or whatever."
frustrated, I get up and try to walk away. He grabs my wrist, I try not to scream.
"I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"You can't." I spit at him, full of venom, trying to escape again. He pulls me closer, and the pain in my bruised wrist causes me to yelp.
A look of confusion comes over his face, but he doesn't let go. He gently slides up the sleeve, and catches a glimpse of the crisscrossed blue black and purple.
"Colyssa...what the hell happened to you?!" he slide it up further, confriming that yes, they do go all the way up to my shoulder. I jerk my arm away, causing more pain, and back away a few steps.
"DAMNIT COLYSSA TELL ME!" he advances, looking angry yet concerned.
I don't want to be shouted at again. I certainly never want to be touched. I turn away from him, and run down the hall out the door, and into the parking lot. He easily keeps up, coming out behind me.
"GO AWAY!" I order him, falling to my knees, trying to stop the inevitable tears, "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"
He comes up slowly, tentatively, and leans down to look at me. He lifts my head up, and uses his thumbs to wipe away the hurt. But with it comes the makeup, and now he's even more distraught, noticing my injuires are far worse than expected.
"Who did this to you?" He asks, wiping oh so gently, looking into my eyes.
The anger has evaporated, leaving deep concern in its wake.
"It's..it's my fault." I tell him, flustered by his touch.
"You did this to yourself?"
"I...I lost....control. Of everything." I stammer.
"Remember when I told you that you just didn't know how to say anything? Well I think it's time for you to be heard."
I take a deep breath, to regulate my breathing and clarify my speech.
"You're messing up everything Josh! It was all perfect before you showed up! Stay out of my life!"
Authors Note: thanks for reading guys!(: feedback? sorry I'm doing a lousy job on the notifications :| my computer doesn't like me, but I promise I'll get them this time. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Enjoy!
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