Like I said, keep up the great work and REALLY go into detail. Instead of "I stepped in puddles, remembering that it had rained the night before" Write "I sloshed through the shallow puddles on the sidewalk, one of the many reminders that it had rained yesterday evening." Details. Details. Details. But, when writing a story, be sure to ONLY write sentences that will move the plot forward. Don't write a sentence describing something unless it moves the character forward in the story. For instance don't write 'The medal shined like glittering stars.' Write 'The winner of the contest placed the medal around his neck, the plaque shining like glittering stars.' See, it moved the plot forward and affected the character. Hehe, a close friend of mine is a writer, so she teaches me how to write well. It's really fun and a great help for English papers. Oh, sorry to ramble. (:

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woow thats great i love that. the only part i thought was a little different was the sentence... "Laughter was heard."... mayb you could write something like... "The laughter from them was a joy."... again, just a suggestion:)