Jamie Ryan Dee.
A.k.a Jam Jars
ABOUT ME
Where the hell am I supposed to begin? I suppose I’ll describe myself as it flows from my head, like a trail of thought so you can get an honest depiction of how I perceive myself. I’m Jamie Ryan Dee, age 16 from a small city in the Northeast of England that you’ve probably never heard of. I’m extremely open-minded but wish everyone else were too. People seem to think that I’m arrogant and conceited but I can assure you I’m the quite opposite. Although I may seem self-assured and content over the Internet, in reality I would kill for a confidence boost. When meeting new people, I’m held with the unbearable thought of ‘they already hate me’ so I undergo this repetitive pressure to attempt to justify myself as the nice person I am. People constantly ask ‘How do you deal with so much hate?’ and the answer, for me, is pretty simple. It comes with time and experience. Over the last year, I’ve established a great understanding of why these appalling people leave hate and the best ways to deal with it. Obviously, it’s not the greatest feeling in the world to read unpleasant things about yourself from people you’ve never spoken to but I will never attempt to please those who will never be pleased. If the person saying it doesn’t matter, why should it matter what they say, right? Lastly, as cliché as this is, ‘if someone’s trying to bring you down, it’s evidently because you’re higher than them’. I will always fail to comprehend how people have these contrasting extreme opinions of me. How one person can completely ‘love’ me and the next can downright ‘hate’ me. I desire that people will realise that, although I am well known and have more followers than average, I’m not inhuman and I don’t consider myself any more significant than the next blogger on this website. In my opinion, I find it rather annoying that tumblr is changing. People are constantly asking the same questions such as ‘How do I get more followers?’ ‘Will you promote me?’ ‘How many followers do you have?’ I believe that when someone focuses so much on accumulating a large follower count, blogging becomes worthless. You’re probably thinking that’s easy for me to say but I’ve never asked people to follow me, never been promoted and nor do I brag or even state how many followers I actually have. I find impolite, ignorant cunts intolerable. In contrast to my previous descriptions of I, at the moment, I’m not quite certain of my feelings and perspective on life. Things are a little ambiguous at this point in time, so I probably should of delayed writing this. Speaking of delay, I probably procrastinate way too excessively. Constantly putting things off. I don’t get enough sleep; I don’t eat enough of the right food. I drink too much coffee and sometimes I’m distant and isolated but that’s probably adapted behaviour to protect myself. I drag through the week in hope of a satisfying weekend. I plan on going to a college in a different city, fresh start and all that shit, blah blah. Regarding myself, what you see probably isn’t what you get. I hate arrogance; it’s the biggest turn off ever. I seldom make friends on the Internet, I just don’t know who is genuine anymore. You probably can’t imagine how annoying it is to talk with someone and half way through they start asking for promotion. Overall, I am a friendly guy. And I love making new friends. Don't be shy, talk to me.
lol
TRUE
STORY:
I was taking a walk. Getting things
off my mind. I always take the same path when I take a walk. A
long dirt road that passes by fields of green, tiny bridges and
rivers.
When I was walking, I saw a girl who looked about 15. She was
beautiful. She had silky, wavy brown hair and hazel eyes.
At first, I was just going to keep on walking. Mind my own
business. Until I saw her lift up her foot to step onto the
bridge rail.
I ran over to her before she could go any further.
I grabbed her arm and she screamed. I asked her what she was
doing.
And she answered "making everyone happy"
I pulled her down and told her that suicide was never the
answer.
She took out her phone and told me to read the latest text
messages.
They were all from a guy named "Stephen" and a girl
named "Alexia"
The Stephen guy was just saying how he didn't want to be with
her anymore, cus he can't 'stand to look at her face'
and she isn't worth anything. And the girl Alexia was saying
that she 'won' and that she didn't deserve Stephen,
Alexia did. And calling her ugly and stuff. I handed her back her
phone and told her to not listen to them. I said
"Alexia is right. You don't deserve Stephen. You deserve
a guy who knows how to treat a girl. You deserve the best guy in
the world. You're not pretty. You're beautiful. And
beautiful girls don't deserve to cry." And I wiped the
tear from her eye. "A girl like you doesn't deserve to
be in this position. Leaning over a bridge, ready to end her
life. You deserve to go on, live happy and healthy and smile. The
right guy will come along, and realize how amazing you are. And
he will be one lucky guy. And you will look back at this day, and
think 'what was I thinking?'
Don't get worked up over two immature people. It's not
worth it. Stephen will soon realize that he was lucky to have you
and that he messed up. And this Alexia girl is clearly jealous of
you. Please, walk away from this bridge. Walk away from these two
people. Delete the messages and smile. Show them that it
doesn't hurt. Show them that you are strong. I believe in
you."
She paused and said "I've always dreamed of this.
Dreamed that some amazing guy will save my life." She kissed
my cheek and said "Thank you. If it wasn't for you I
would have ended my life. I've never had any confidence my
whole life until today. You've just changed alot. You've
changed how I think of myself. You're my hero." She
chucked her phone into the water and walked away
smiling.
And right there, a tear fell down my cheek.
Most amazing experience of my life.