LovelyLily

 
If you can watch the sun rise and set each day, then pray for me to be there one day.
Holding me close, there’s nothing more you could watch.
But don’t let me slip away just yet, just one more kiss before I go.
A second chance at love that we never got, more than we could hope for.
Lay me down and kiss me until your last breath is gone.
Tossing and turning at night, making wishes on stars and eyelashes.
We could keep this going; we could be so much more than you think know.
You could have a lot to say before you walk away.
Maybe just one last hope that I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.
An always and forever love, something I need you to help me believe.
Keep your hands in mine and keep out all the sadness that haunts me.
Kiss me twice through the letters you send, the ones I’m living in.
But don’t  let us go.

I just can't keep hanging on,
                                                        to you and me.



I just don't know what is wrong, with you and me.

 I was trying to cut myself. I wanted to cut for the cut itself, for the delicate severing of capillaries, the transgression of veins. I needed to cut like the way your lungs scream for air when you swim the entire length of the pool underwater in one breath. It was a craving so organic it seemed to have arisen from the skin itself. Imagining the sticky-slick scarlet trails of my own blood soothed me.
 

 Somewhere,
things must be beautiful and vivid. Somewhere else, life has to be beautiful and vivid and rich, not like this muted palette- a pale blue bedroom, washed out sunny sky, dull green yellow brown of the fields. Here, I know every twist of the road, in this town, and
I am suffocating.
 

       You are depressed,

but yet you see things on the dark side, yet you love being this way.
Life is depressing and it’s beautiful.

You’re beautiful.
 

 \





Maybe you’re just jaded from somebody’s unforgotten words.
Maybe you’re just faded a little grey from every time that you’ve been hurt.
 

 And I can always find her at the bottom of a plastic cup, drowning in a drunken sincerity,
a sad and lonely girl.
 

 



Loneliness killed the moon and the stars, nothing that is alive will live without feeling pain;
                                                                                                                                                    nothing that is dead will die without feeling happiness and free, earthly ties fading into
                                        vacant cancer cells.

 I’ll just sit here and write until I can’t write any longer, maybe after I’m done,
                                                                             I’ll have a reason to smile.
 

 something, something’s not quite right inside you anymore.
There’s a space inside that bleeds the lonliness of lost loves.
The kind of emptiness that eats away your insides and rots your heart.
The wounds you cause don’t seem to stop the emotional infliction.
And the drugs don’t seem to drive away the thoughts.
You can watch yourself bleed for so long, the blood streams down your arm, but you get so tired of the scars.
The tears won’t pour anymore, as if you’ve been drained from feeling anything anymore.
The screaming drowns away and they all forget how you’re doing,
You just to end this all.