__Lost__
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Joined: February 13, 2010
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 101151
Joined: February 13, 2010
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 101151
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Sorry I can't make fan art or post any more story for awhile I've ot a lot of stuff going on at the moment and I just don't have the time.
WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE FAN ART/STORY PAGE
I also do fades now... all the colors of the rainbow.
Hello peoples, I'm new to making fan art so it'll probably suck for
awhile then get slightly better then go straight down hill so enjoy
my suckiness while you can. The quality of my fan art changes
from day to day so if you get me on a good day then you're in
luck. I don't really have any rules if there's anything specific you
want just tell me and I shall try my best.
<---Llama
[Just thought I'd tell you]
Fan art...
Just some of my recent works of
fan art sorry they're a bit big.
I didn't make this for anyone I was just bored
OPEPERATIONBEAUTIFUL
XXXKPRICESS254
ADAM_LAMBERT_X0
ASHELLS24
THEBOOSTABABEHS
PEACE_LOVE_HEARTS7
YOUCANTJUDGEME
LAXFREAKXX44
07_KKORTT_25
MARISA_824
XOXOMHLUV7
SOCCERGIRL47292
KAITLINANNSTEPHENSON
NIKKINIKKI17
SURFERGIRL18
SURFERGIRL18
XXBESTDRESSFEARLESSXX
SAHZIEE_JONAS_XO
JESSIIEKA
COLOURMYWORLD
Quotes by __Lost__
Untitled.
22
[What do you think? This is my last post on this story for awhile don't worry I will finish it I've just got a bit of writers block at the moment and I'm going away for a couple of weeks. sorry.]
Today was so different of course, so as I slid into my seat- still shivering slightly from the cold water, he stood up from the seat he was sitting in an strode over to where I was haughtily.
"Hello baby" he purred, sitting down right by me despite the glare I was shooting full force at him. "Been flirting around with Freeman again? You know if you're going to do that you might want to pick a real guy." he emphasized real, obviously meaning himself. I shifted away from him as far as I could- wishing that I was anyone besides who I was for the moment- wishing I wasn't such a coward.
"I'll let you know next time I see one." I said softly- too softly. I wasn't even sure that he heard me. Anytime that I tried to stand up for myself, or defend myself; something always happened. I wasn't even audible, he wasn't listening... something like that.
Brian slung his arm over the back of the back of the seat and grinned over at one of his buddies. I pressed even further away from him so that I was completely pressed against the bus window and sighed softly. Someday... I was going to get brave enough to stand up to him. Someday.
The phone was ringing. I groaned and rolled over so that my head was under the pillow- trying to block out the sound. The sound kept coming though- so no one else was going to get it. Great. I rolled back over in the opposite direction and blinked in the light- stretching my arms over my head before getting up and padding over to the kitchen and picking up the phone.
"Hello?" My voice still sounded thick and tired. I cleared my throat and repeated "Hello?"
"Hello, is Miranda there?" I yawned, trying to get my brain to function. "This is she."
"Oh! Miranda, hi! This is Yvonne from school... are you okay? You sound funny." Yvonne? She hadn't called me since the day that I just had to pass out in the school cafeteria. What did she want? And on a Saturday too.
"Yeah sorry, I just woke up. Do you need something?" there was a pause on the other end of the line and I thought I heard the sound of a cat purring in the background.
"Yes, actually. Some friends and I were going down to the beach today- and I just thought that I would ask if you wanted to come with us." Go with them. I don't think I'd been asked if I wanted to go somewhere with someone in...forever. Too long. But at the exact same time - I hadn't been out of the house to do anything but go to school or get the mail in almost two years. Not if I could help it.
"I don't know Yvonne... its probably going to be awfully crowded and-" I began, trying to come up with a good excuse while avoiding the completely truth. That I was scared to go anywhere.
"Andy?" I didn't respond, but I did stop talking. "Andy." Her voice was...understanding?
"What?" I was almost afraid to answer. I was fairly sure she'd seen through my excuses. She seemed to be good at that.
"You'll be okay. I promise." I sighed softly. I was right. Somehow no matter what I said, she always picked up on how I really felt. In a way it scared me, but in another way it felt nice. Knowing that someone was at least a bit understanding.
"Alright. I'll go."
"Its going to be fun.Trust me. Bring some money for lunch- and we'll pick you up at around 10:00 if thats ok." I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was almost 8:00 am.
"Wait.. Yvonne? We're only fifteen- who's driving?"
"One of my friends is 17. She has her licenses already."
"Ok. See you soon."
[What do you think? This is my last post on this story for awhile don't worry I will finish it I've just got a bit of writers block at the moment and I'm going away for a couple of weeks. sorry.]
Today was so different of course, so as I slid into my seat- still shivering slightly from the cold water, he stood up from the seat he was sitting in an strode over to where I was haughtily.
"Hello baby" he purred, sitting down right by me despite the glare I was shooting full force at him. "Been flirting around with Freeman again? You know if you're going to do that you might want to pick a real guy." he emphasized real, obviously meaning himself. I shifted away from him as far as I could- wishing that I was anyone besides who I was for the moment- wishing I wasn't such a coward.
"I'll let you know next time I see one." I said softly- too softly. I wasn't even sure that he heard me. Anytime that I tried to stand up for myself, or defend myself; something always happened. I wasn't even audible, he wasn't listening... something like that.
Brian slung his arm over the back of the back of the seat and grinned over at one of his buddies. I pressed even further away from him so that I was completely pressed against the bus window and sighed softly. Someday... I was going to get brave enough to stand up to him. Someday.
The phone was ringing. I groaned and rolled over so that my head was under the pillow- trying to block out the sound. The sound kept coming though- so no one else was going to get it. Great. I rolled back over in the opposite direction and blinked in the light- stretching my arms over my head before getting up and padding over to the kitchen and picking up the phone.
"Hello?" My voice still sounded thick and tired. I cleared my throat and repeated "Hello?"
"Hello, is Miranda there?" I yawned, trying to get my brain to function. "This is she."
"Oh! Miranda, hi! This is Yvonne from school... are you okay? You sound funny." Yvonne? She hadn't called me since the day that I just had to pass out in the school cafeteria. What did she want? And on a Saturday too.
"Yeah sorry, I just woke up. Do you need something?" there was a pause on the other end of the line and I thought I heard the sound of a cat purring in the background.
"Yes, actually. Some friends and I were going down to the beach today- and I just thought that I would ask if you wanted to come with us." Go with them. I don't think I'd been asked if I wanted to go somewhere with someone in...forever. Too long. But at the exact same time - I hadn't been out of the house to do anything but go to school or get the mail in almost two years. Not if I could help it.
"I don't know Yvonne... its probably going to be awfully crowded and-" I began, trying to come up with a good excuse while avoiding the completely truth. That I was scared to go anywhere.
"Andy?" I didn't respond, but I did stop talking. "Andy." Her voice was...understanding?
"What?" I was almost afraid to answer. I was fairly sure she'd seen through my excuses. She seemed to be good at that.
"You'll be okay. I promise." I sighed softly. I was right. Somehow no matter what I said, she always picked up on how I really felt. In a way it scared me, but in another way it felt nice. Knowing that someone was at least a bit understanding.
"Alright. I'll go."
"Its going to be fun.Trust me. Bring some money for lunch- and we'll pick you up at around 10:00 if thats ok." I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was almost 8:00 am.
"Wait.. Yvonne? We're only fifteen- who's driving?"
"One of my friends is 17. She has her licenses already."
"Ok. See you soon."
Untitled.
21
[What do you think?]
"No! Don't Nate, my mom will kill me." I squealed, running across the school yard at racing speed- trying to dodge Nate who was currently holding a very cold cup of water in his hand, trying to splash it on me. I glanced back to judge how far away he was, and to my dismay I didn't have to look back very far. He was gaining on me rapidly- a wicked grin on his face. Yeah I know. Big change from last time.
If I was really paying attention I probably would of seen that half of the school was staring at us like we were complete morons...which wasn't too far from the truth. Well at least they were staring at me like I was a moron. They were probably all oohing and ahhing over Nate and 'how fast he is' or how 'cute he is'. That's how it usually worked. Of course- I wasn't paying attention so what did it matter?
Suddenly I lost my footing- slipping and falling down with a thud into the crispy grass. It didn't really hurt- but I dramatically flopped back into the grass just because I could. Nate skidded to a stop beside me and looked down- his slightly shaggy hair hanging over his eyes. "You okay?" I nodded and looked up, forgetting the water he was holding for a moment. Just a moment though because before I could even think Nate grinned at me then as if he were performing some sort of magic act- he held the cup high over me and let it cascaded down onto me. I screamed and bolted up into a sitting position- my eyes wide as the coldness soaked my shirt. "Hey!" I grabbed for the cup in his hand but only succeeded in grabbing the air and almost falling over again.
"What? You did it to me" Nate said, pouting and pointing at his still damp hair as if for a reminder.
I stood up and wrung out my shirt as well as I could, then wiped the water off of my face. "Yeah but.." Nate brought his finger to his lips in a hushing motion. It got me to shut up for whatever reason.
"So its okay to soak me with water but I can't pour water on you?" He said, folding his arms.
"My water wasn't ice cold!" He just gave me a cat-like grin for that, shrugging. "You just weren't smart enough to think of it." was his answer.
It amazed me really- how I was able to talk to him so much more easily than a few weeks before. It was almost like I was a different person. Whenever we were alone at the lunch table I sometimes still felt nervous, and I still couldn't bring myself to be around him when there was less than five or six people in the room- but I'd made a lot of progress.
"Oh crap, the buses are leaving" Nate said- suddenly looking up as the roar of the bus engines started. I spun around to look- and indeed half of the buses had already left. "Lets go!" I started to race back in the direction that we came from with Nate right behind me. I ended up making it to the bus just as the doors were closing- and without saying bye to Nate I sprung into the bus and sat down with a thump into my seat.
Now one thing that I do have to admit in all of this 'yeah, I've gotten so far' business is that one of the things that I still have not been able to bring myself to face is Brian. On some days he completely ignores me, talking to the girls crowded around him as if he really had something important to say, and on other days it felt like he had it in for me. He rarely said anything when I was around either Yvonne or Nate, but sometimes he would do things not really noticeable to the un-searching eye. A smirk here, whispering some sort of remark I'd rather not hear as he passed me in the halls. And worse- I still had no earthly idea as to why it was I that he had decided to annoy. Usually I could ignore him, but the way he acted never failed to make me uneasy and wary.
He found the bus to be the best place to make my life miserable.
[What do you think?]
"No! Don't Nate, my mom will kill me." I squealed, running across the school yard at racing speed- trying to dodge Nate who was currently holding a very cold cup of water in his hand, trying to splash it on me. I glanced back to judge how far away he was, and to my dismay I didn't have to look back very far. He was gaining on me rapidly- a wicked grin on his face. Yeah I know. Big change from last time.
If I was really paying attention I probably would of seen that half of the school was staring at us like we were complete morons...which wasn't too far from the truth. Well at least they were staring at me like I was a moron. They were probably all oohing and ahhing over Nate and 'how fast he is' or how 'cute he is'. That's how it usually worked. Of course- I wasn't paying attention so what did it matter?
Suddenly I lost my footing- slipping and falling down with a thud into the crispy grass. It didn't really hurt- but I dramatically flopped back into the grass just because I could. Nate skidded to a stop beside me and looked down- his slightly shaggy hair hanging over his eyes. "You okay?" I nodded and looked up, forgetting the water he was holding for a moment. Just a moment though because before I could even think Nate grinned at me then as if he were performing some sort of magic act- he held the cup high over me and let it cascaded down onto me. I screamed and bolted up into a sitting position- my eyes wide as the coldness soaked my shirt. "Hey!" I grabbed for the cup in his hand but only succeeded in grabbing the air and almost falling over again.
"What? You did it to me" Nate said, pouting and pointing at his still damp hair as if for a reminder.
I stood up and wrung out my shirt as well as I could, then wiped the water off of my face. "Yeah but.." Nate brought his finger to his lips in a hushing motion. It got me to shut up for whatever reason.
"So its okay to soak me with water but I can't pour water on you?" He said, folding his arms.
"My water wasn't ice cold!" He just gave me a cat-like grin for that, shrugging. "You just weren't smart enough to think of it." was his answer.
It amazed me really- how I was able to talk to him so much more easily than a few weeks before. It was almost like I was a different person. Whenever we were alone at the lunch table I sometimes still felt nervous, and I still couldn't bring myself to be around him when there was less than five or six people in the room- but I'd made a lot of progress.
"Oh crap, the buses are leaving" Nate said- suddenly looking up as the roar of the bus engines started. I spun around to look- and indeed half of the buses had already left. "Lets go!" I started to race back in the direction that we came from with Nate right behind me. I ended up making it to the bus just as the doors were closing- and without saying bye to Nate I sprung into the bus and sat down with a thump into my seat.
Now one thing that I do have to admit in all of this 'yeah, I've gotten so far' business is that one of the things that I still have not been able to bring myself to face is Brian. On some days he completely ignores me, talking to the girls crowded around him as if he really had something important to say, and on other days it felt like he had it in for me. He rarely said anything when I was around either Yvonne or Nate, but sometimes he would do things not really noticeable to the un-searching eye. A smirk here, whispering some sort of remark I'd rather not hear as he passed me in the halls. And worse- I still had no earthly idea as to why it was I that he had decided to annoy. Usually I could ignore him, but the way he acted never failed to make me uneasy and wary.
He found the bus to be the best place to make my life miserable.
Untitled.
20
[What do you think?]
Part of me wanted so much for him not to be there, to think I was crazy and never come. Then part of me did want him to be there so I could just apologize and get over with it. You know how sometimes its like you're battling yourself? Like the fight isn't between you and someone else, its between sides of you? That's sort of how I felt. As I walked towards the oak tree though, I knew what would happen. I could see a long figure leaning against the thin tree's trunk, peering out towards the school doors- waiting. I stopped and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath of the hot, sticky air. Here goes...well...everything. At least that's what it felt like.
He noticed me a few strides away from reaching the tree, and I felt his piercing green eyes stare at me for a moment before he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Hey." I stopped a foot or two away from him and looked up with the biggest smile I could come up with, which- well, was really barely even a small smile. "What did you-" he began. I cut him off before he finished though. Before I lost whatever confidence I had. "I just wanted to say I was sorry." I blurted suddenly, covering up the rest of his words. His eyebrows shot up and he studied me for a second before replying. "For what?" hadn't he been paying attention?! I sighed softly to myself as I seemed to be doing a lot of lately. "For being so..." I searched for the word. "Cold. You've been trying to be kind to me, even helped me ever since I came here and I've been rude. I...never thanked you."
If I hadn't been nervous I may of laughed. Nate's face was a mix between surprise and... I'm not sure. For a minute he didn't say anything, but then he finally shrugged his broad shoulders. "That's ok." that was it? ...nothing else? I mean I didn't exactly expect him to throw a temper tantrum or anything but I also didn't expect him to just...go with it. I shook my head slowly. "I had no reason to do that. I shouldn't assume that..." and I left off. If I said any more I was likely to get him curious, and I didn't feel like telling anyone else, and especially not a guy, why I was so stand-offish. When I glanced back up at him though he still did look sort of curious as to what I had been about to stay. Still, he did have enough sense not to say anything.
We stood silently for a second. I don't think either of us really knew what to say or do. Finally he shifted his weight a bit and slipped one hand out of his pocket. "Well...maybe we could start over?" he said slowly, extending his hand. "I'm Nate." I couldn't help it. I gave him a tentative smile back, reaching my own hand out to grasp his. We probably looked completely retarded standing under the half-grown tree, shaking hands- but as we did I felt just a little better about all of this. Just a tiny bit braver. "I'm Andy."
You know how sometimes time just sort of seems to slip by you without you even noticing, then you wake up one day and wonder where all of that time went? It seems like everything was a blur of movement, and you can't tell one day from the next, when one thing happens from when another does. That's how the next three weeks felt. August slipped into September- and with it, I believe that part of my fear also left with it.
I'm not sure when I started to notice the change, or even if I had completely even accepted it yet. It wasn't a bad change though. I guess that if I really thought about it, I can trace it back to that day that I'd decided that I was 'oh so brave' and finally faced my fears in a way, apologizing to Nate.
It seems stupid now that I think about it- how something small like that would help me take a step out and try to trust again. Before I had been set on just holing up in a corner for the rest of my life and never come out. In fact I'm not proud to admit to the fact that this alone was probably the reason that all of that therapy and 'special help' I got didn't work. I hadn't wanted to try.
Something about the way Nate had constantly kept an eye out for me, watching out for me in a way- despite the fact that I was horrible to him had finally... won me over I guess you could say. I'm not sure how, or why even, but I am glad that it happened.
What started out as just tolerating him whenever he spoke to me, slowly began to change as the days went by. One day he was just another person it seemed, then it was like he was one of my best friends. Of course I'm probably just saying that because in the whole school the only two people that could or would stand to be around the 'freak' were him and Yvonne. At first he would just wave at me from across the hall, then he started to sit with Yvonne and I on a regular basis. Even on days that Yvonne didn't sit at the table that I did- he came without fail. I probably would of minded if I had noticed- but I didn't. The way he slowly just sort of seeped into my life went by unnoticed by me. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
[What do you think?]
Part of me wanted so much for him not to be there, to think I was crazy and never come. Then part of me did want him to be there so I could just apologize and get over with it. You know how sometimes its like you're battling yourself? Like the fight isn't between you and someone else, its between sides of you? That's sort of how I felt. As I walked towards the oak tree though, I knew what would happen. I could see a long figure leaning against the thin tree's trunk, peering out towards the school doors- waiting. I stopped and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath of the hot, sticky air. Here goes...well...everything. At least that's what it felt like.
He noticed me a few strides away from reaching the tree, and I felt his piercing green eyes stare at me for a moment before he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Hey." I stopped a foot or two away from him and looked up with the biggest smile I could come up with, which- well, was really barely even a small smile. "What did you-" he began. I cut him off before he finished though. Before I lost whatever confidence I had. "I just wanted to say I was sorry." I blurted suddenly, covering up the rest of his words. His eyebrows shot up and he studied me for a second before replying. "For what?" hadn't he been paying attention?! I sighed softly to myself as I seemed to be doing a lot of lately. "For being so..." I searched for the word. "Cold. You've been trying to be kind to me, even helped me ever since I came here and I've been rude. I...never thanked you."
If I hadn't been nervous I may of laughed. Nate's face was a mix between surprise and... I'm not sure. For a minute he didn't say anything, but then he finally shrugged his broad shoulders. "That's ok." that was it? ...nothing else? I mean I didn't exactly expect him to throw a temper tantrum or anything but I also didn't expect him to just...go with it. I shook my head slowly. "I had no reason to do that. I shouldn't assume that..." and I left off. If I said any more I was likely to get him curious, and I didn't feel like telling anyone else, and especially not a guy, why I was so stand-offish. When I glanced back up at him though he still did look sort of curious as to what I had been about to stay. Still, he did have enough sense not to say anything.
We stood silently for a second. I don't think either of us really knew what to say or do. Finally he shifted his weight a bit and slipped one hand out of his pocket. "Well...maybe we could start over?" he said slowly, extending his hand. "I'm Nate." I couldn't help it. I gave him a tentative smile back, reaching my own hand out to grasp his. We probably looked completely retarded standing under the half-grown tree, shaking hands- but as we did I felt just a little better about all of this. Just a tiny bit braver. "I'm Andy."
You know how sometimes time just sort of seems to slip by you without you even noticing, then you wake up one day and wonder where all of that time went? It seems like everything was a blur of movement, and you can't tell one day from the next, when one thing happens from when another does. That's how the next three weeks felt. August slipped into September- and with it, I believe that part of my fear also left with it.
I'm not sure when I started to notice the change, or even if I had completely even accepted it yet. It wasn't a bad change though. I guess that if I really thought about it, I can trace it back to that day that I'd decided that I was 'oh so brave' and finally faced my fears in a way, apologizing to Nate.
It seems stupid now that I think about it- how something small like that would help me take a step out and try to trust again. Before I had been set on just holing up in a corner for the rest of my life and never come out. In fact I'm not proud to admit to the fact that this alone was probably the reason that all of that therapy and 'special help' I got didn't work. I hadn't wanted to try.
Something about the way Nate had constantly kept an eye out for me, watching out for me in a way- despite the fact that I was horrible to him had finally... won me over I guess you could say. I'm not sure how, or why even, but I am glad that it happened.
What started out as just tolerating him whenever he spoke to me, slowly began to change as the days went by. One day he was just another person it seemed, then it was like he was one of my best friends. Of course I'm probably just saying that because in the whole school the only two people that could or would stand to be around the 'freak' were him and Yvonne. At first he would just wave at me from across the hall, then he started to sit with Yvonne and I on a regular basis. Even on days that Yvonne didn't sit at the table that I did- he came without fail. I probably would of minded if I had noticed- but I didn't. The way he slowly just sort of seeped into my life went by unnoticed by me. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Untitled.
16
[What do you think?]
- - - - - - - - - - - - Lunch period- - - - - - - - - - - -
All through my classes today I had been as nervous as anything. It seemed like everywhere I turned; that shaggy haired, baggy panted Brian was there smirking at me for who-knows-why. My head was pounding but ever since escaping the bus I'd felt as if I were a hundred years old and I hadn't slept in years. Anyways- there wasn't anything anyone could do for my headache since it was more nerves than anything.
It was just my luck that Yvonne caught up with me after the lunch bell rung; a few of her friends trailing behind. Her almond shaped eyes were bright as she fell into step with me; greeting me with her usual deep-toned enthusiasm.
"Hello Miranda! Would you like to sit with us for lunch today? It is a shame to see you sitting all alone." I let out a breath; brushing my hair out of my face for the millionth time today.
"Yeah, sure." I may as well. Already my day had been completely crappy; and Yvonne was trying to be kind to me. What was a little more stress? I let her lead me into the cafeteria and sat down heavily along with them when everyone got to the table. It was fairly crowded with girls and a few guys- some being from some of my classes and some not. I found a spot at the end close to Yvonne; resting my chin in one hand tiredly. All I wanted to do right now was curl up in a ball and not be messed with.
I wasn't really listening to the other girls as they talked; and that became evident when I glanced up to see that Yvonne was looking strangely at me. She didn't say anything but she gave me a sympathetic smile.
Of course- things had to get worse before it got better. The next thing I knew there was that now familiar- dark hair and green eyed teenager striding over to our table silently. Yvonne noticed him at just about the same time that I did, turning her tan face to look behind her and smiling widely. "Hello Nathan!" She greeted him the same was she greeted me, and for a moment I envied the fact that she could be...so at ease around everyone. As if everyone was her best friend. Scooting over a bit she patted the seat next to her, inviting him to sit with the group. Nate's green eyes shifted to look at me for a moment, not sure what she would do, how she would respond. When I didn't do anything he carefully sat down, careful not to knock anyone. I was directly across from him but I didn't really care. My head hurt too much. A few minutes later Yvonne tapped me on the shoulder lightly so that I would look up at her. Her brown eyes looked concerned.
"Miranda are you alright? You don't look too good." I shrugged, sending a sideways glance at her.
"Uhuh." I pressed my whole face into my arm this time; not able to stand the sounds of the cafeteria. I still felt Yvonne's gaze on me though. "I...I'm gonna go outside." my voice sounded slurred..even to me. Still, I stood up dizzily and began to walk towards the door. I didn't get very far though. My head started hurting even more so that little black dots appeared in front of my eyes, and I staggered. I would of fallen if someone's strong arms hadn't suddenly gripped my waist. It was then that all of sudden everything went completely black and with a shiver I slipped into some sort of unconscious state right as I heard a loud gasp behind me.
There was nothing to do... nowhere to hide. Everything was closing in on her as she ran and ran. She didn't know where she was going, just away from him. She could hear him behind her, gaining on her as she sprinted down the alley way. Her breath was coming labored now as she ran, she knew that she would collapse soon, she'd have to face him. I wanted to scream. I needed to scream. Only; I couldn't. The only thing that I could hear was a dull funneling sound, as if I were in an underground bridge with water swirling all around me. And a faint ringing sound that I couldn't place. No other sounds, and my body felt as if it were weighed down at the bottom of the ocean, with hundred pound rocks on top of me. help. The darkness engulfing me scared me; I needed to open my eyes, and I would of if I was capable. Only... I wasn't.
It took a few minutes for my hearing to kick in- turning that strange funneling, empty sound into a few different distinctly different sounds. As I laid there trying to concentrate on who or what it was that was making the sound, the tones turned into voices which were unmistakably mummers. Maybe from across the room. The voices were quiet. Too quiet for me to be able to understand them at all, as if they were trying not to wake up a sleeping baby. I took a deep breath. At least I could do that.
The voices sounded familiar, but for some reason I could not place them. Where was I? What had happened? A moment later I was finally able to crack an eye open; but I regretted it the moment the horrible- horrible sunlight caught through my eye. I winced and closed my eye again as tightly as I could. Someone must of been watching me though because soon I heard a low toned female voice. "I think that she's awake." she announced. Yvonne. Yes of course that was Yvonne. wait what was she doing here? What was I doing here? And where was here? I struggled to raise myself without opening my eyes; pushing up on my elbows. I was halfway up when I felt a large hand pressing me down gently; urging me not to try and get up. I obeyed.
[What do you think?]
- - - - - - - - - - - - Lunch period- - - - - - - - - - - -
All through my classes today I had been as nervous as anything. It seemed like everywhere I turned; that shaggy haired, baggy panted Brian was there smirking at me for who-knows-why. My head was pounding but ever since escaping the bus I'd felt as if I were a hundred years old and I hadn't slept in years. Anyways- there wasn't anything anyone could do for my headache since it was more nerves than anything.
It was just my luck that Yvonne caught up with me after the lunch bell rung; a few of her friends trailing behind. Her almond shaped eyes were bright as she fell into step with me; greeting me with her usual deep-toned enthusiasm.
"Hello Miranda! Would you like to sit with us for lunch today? It is a shame to see you sitting all alone." I let out a breath; brushing my hair out of my face for the millionth time today.
"Yeah, sure." I may as well. Already my day had been completely crappy; and Yvonne was trying to be kind to me. What was a little more stress? I let her lead me into the cafeteria and sat down heavily along with them when everyone got to the table. It was fairly crowded with girls and a few guys- some being from some of my classes and some not. I found a spot at the end close to Yvonne; resting my chin in one hand tiredly. All I wanted to do right now was curl up in a ball and not be messed with.
I wasn't really listening to the other girls as they talked; and that became evident when I glanced up to see that Yvonne was looking strangely at me. She didn't say anything but she gave me a sympathetic smile.
Of course- things had to get worse before it got better. The next thing I knew there was that now familiar- dark hair and green eyed teenager striding over to our table silently. Yvonne noticed him at just about the same time that I did, turning her tan face to look behind her and smiling widely. "Hello Nathan!" She greeted him the same was she greeted me, and for a moment I envied the fact that she could be...so at ease around everyone. As if everyone was her best friend. Scooting over a bit she patted the seat next to her, inviting him to sit with the group. Nate's green eyes shifted to look at me for a moment, not sure what she would do, how she would respond. When I didn't do anything he carefully sat down, careful not to knock anyone. I was directly across from him but I didn't really care. My head hurt too much. A few minutes later Yvonne tapped me on the shoulder lightly so that I would look up at her. Her brown eyes looked concerned.
"Miranda are you alright? You don't look too good." I shrugged, sending a sideways glance at her.
"Uhuh." I pressed my whole face into my arm this time; not able to stand the sounds of the cafeteria. I still felt Yvonne's gaze on me though. "I...I'm gonna go outside." my voice sounded slurred..even to me. Still, I stood up dizzily and began to walk towards the door. I didn't get very far though. My head started hurting even more so that little black dots appeared in front of my eyes, and I staggered. I would of fallen if someone's strong arms hadn't suddenly gripped my waist. It was then that all of sudden everything went completely black and with a shiver I slipped into some sort of unconscious state right as I heard a loud gasp behind me.
There was nothing to do... nowhere to hide. Everything was closing in on her as she ran and ran. She didn't know where she was going, just away from him. She could hear him behind her, gaining on her as she sprinted down the alley way. Her breath was coming labored now as she ran, she knew that she would collapse soon, she'd have to face him. I wanted to scream. I needed to scream. Only; I couldn't. The only thing that I could hear was a dull funneling sound, as if I were in an underground bridge with water swirling all around me. And a faint ringing sound that I couldn't place. No other sounds, and my body felt as if it were weighed down at the bottom of the ocean, with hundred pound rocks on top of me. help. The darkness engulfing me scared me; I needed to open my eyes, and I would of if I was capable. Only... I wasn't.
It took a few minutes for my hearing to kick in- turning that strange funneling, empty sound into a few different distinctly different sounds. As I laid there trying to concentrate on who or what it was that was making the sound, the tones turned into voices which were unmistakably mummers. Maybe from across the room. The voices were quiet. Too quiet for me to be able to understand them at all, as if they were trying not to wake up a sleeping baby. I took a deep breath. At least I could do that.
The voices sounded familiar, but for some reason I could not place them. Where was I? What had happened? A moment later I was finally able to crack an eye open; but I regretted it the moment the horrible- horrible sunlight caught through my eye. I winced and closed my eye again as tightly as I could. Someone must of been watching me though because soon I heard a low toned female voice. "I think that she's awake." she announced. Yvonne. Yes of course that was Yvonne. wait what was she doing here? What was I doing here? And where was here? I struggled to raise myself without opening my eyes; pushing up on my elbows. I was halfway up when I felt a large hand pressing me down gently; urging me not to try and get up. I obeyed.
Untitled.
15
[What do you think?]
I jumped onto the bus quickly and slumped down into an empty seat. Everyone knew very well that I always sat alone- so I didn't have to really worry about that. I tossed my backpack down by my feet and leaned my head back; waiting for the bus to start. When I did that though, I almost fell over at what I next saw.
Getting aboard of the bus just now; was none other than Brian Derks; swaggering as if he thought he was just so cool. I slid down in my seat just a little bit more; that familiar trapped feeling seeping through my blood. What in the world was he doing on our bus? I guess that's what the bus driver wanted to know too.
"Hey you kid. What 'cha doin on my bus? Thought you lived more south." She said, in that annoyingly accented voice that made me want to cringe. Brian just looked at the woman and shrugged his overly-wide shoulders.
"Whats it to you?" his voice indicated that he thought this was stupid.
"Just ans'er me kid; before I boot cha' off my bus." Oh please do. I didn't want Brian on this bus, no matter what. Lazily Brian shifted his weight a bit before answering, taking his time.
"My dad sells real estate. We moved over here." He said it as if his words made perfect sense, although I couldn't figure out how on earth selling houses had to do with why Brian was on our bus. The bus driver sighed and finally closed the bus doors.
"Wha'ever. I'll ask about it later. Find a seat." she finally said, shifting the bus's gears and slowly beginning to pull out of the neighborhood. Brian tossed his too-long hair out of his eyes and began to walk down the aisle in search of a seat. Because of the fact that he got to the bus late though; there weren't any empty spaces left. I didn't think anything of it until he caught sight of me sitting there huddled against the window as if it would protect me, and gave me a grin that reminded me of a lion who had just caught its prey. Oh no. It was then that I remembered the empty seat...right beside me.
As if he owned the bus; Brian spun around and walked back towards me- his grin still plastered to his stupid, ugly face. Then, with a thunk- he sat down in the seat right by me. "Hey babe." he said lazily and loudly, as if he were trying to get everyone to hear him. I scooted farther away but there wasn't too much space to scoot; I was pressed against the window already. My blueish eyes widened with a fear that I'd thought I'd been able to mainly conquer, and I felt the way I did the first day of school, only more-so. I was trapped...again.
Brian smirked at me; throwing his arm carelessly over behind me on the seat. "So whats up pretty? Looks like you're all alone." I don't know truly why I'm the one he picks on. Maybe because I was the only one that didn't seem to want to follow him around like he's a god, or because I was just another game to play- but I wished right then that the bus would flip over and kill him- or that someone would accidentally trip and fall on top of him at least. I glared daggers at him; sidling away from his arm. When I did that he just put pouted. "You know, its just too bad that Freeman isn't here to protect you again isn't it?" his voice reminded me of a cat purring; and it made me shiver nervously.
I was pressed up against the bus window so far that I could swear that if the latch came undone and the window flew open; I'd fly away with it. My brain clouded with worry as I sat there; wishing I had stayed home, wishing that I wasn't who I was, wishing that I was brave enough to stand up to Brian. Instead- I just sat their helplessly, shrunk as low as I could be so as to escape Brian's arm.
Resting my head against the wall; I closed my eyes to wait out the ride. The ten minutes seemed to drag on though; as if it were endless. My head was starting to hurt and I could still feel his body heat, meaning he hadn't moved away at all. I wanted to scream aloud, but knew that it wouldn't do a bit of good. When the bus finally did give its usually shriek as if slid to a stop, I don't think I've ever been more happy to hear such an annoying sound. I lifted my head enough to glare at Brian as he sat there talking to a friend who had stopped mid-aisle to ask him something. As if everything were normal. If I'd had the guts to kill someone it would of been him at that moment. My bangs had slipped out of my pony tail and strands of it strung over my eyes. I brushed them out of the way and feeling suddenly brave, I grabbed my bag and shouldered my way past Brian and his stupid friend. Once I was off the bus- I swear I could of kissed the ground if I hadn't been almost late for class already.
[What do you think?]
I jumped onto the bus quickly and slumped down into an empty seat. Everyone knew very well that I always sat alone- so I didn't have to really worry about that. I tossed my backpack down by my feet and leaned my head back; waiting for the bus to start. When I did that though, I almost fell over at what I next saw.
Getting aboard of the bus just now; was none other than Brian Derks; swaggering as if he thought he was just so cool. I slid down in my seat just a little bit more; that familiar trapped feeling seeping through my blood. What in the world was he doing on our bus? I guess that's what the bus driver wanted to know too.
"Hey you kid. What 'cha doin on my bus? Thought you lived more south." She said, in that annoyingly accented voice that made me want to cringe. Brian just looked at the woman and shrugged his overly-wide shoulders.
"Whats it to you?" his voice indicated that he thought this was stupid.
"Just ans'er me kid; before I boot cha' off my bus." Oh please do. I didn't want Brian on this bus, no matter what. Lazily Brian shifted his weight a bit before answering, taking his time.
"My dad sells real estate. We moved over here." He said it as if his words made perfect sense, although I couldn't figure out how on earth selling houses had to do with why Brian was on our bus. The bus driver sighed and finally closed the bus doors.
"Wha'ever. I'll ask about it later. Find a seat." she finally said, shifting the bus's gears and slowly beginning to pull out of the neighborhood. Brian tossed his too-long hair out of his eyes and began to walk down the aisle in search of a seat. Because of the fact that he got to the bus late though; there weren't any empty spaces left. I didn't think anything of it until he caught sight of me sitting there huddled against the window as if it would protect me, and gave me a grin that reminded me of a lion who had just caught its prey. Oh no. It was then that I remembered the empty seat...right beside me.
As if he owned the bus; Brian spun around and walked back towards me- his grin still plastered to his stupid, ugly face. Then, with a thunk- he sat down in the seat right by me. "Hey babe." he said lazily and loudly, as if he were trying to get everyone to hear him. I scooted farther away but there wasn't too much space to scoot; I was pressed against the window already. My blueish eyes widened with a fear that I'd thought I'd been able to mainly conquer, and I felt the way I did the first day of school, only more-so. I was trapped...again.
Brian smirked at me; throwing his arm carelessly over behind me on the seat. "So whats up pretty? Looks like you're all alone." I don't know truly why I'm the one he picks on. Maybe because I was the only one that didn't seem to want to follow him around like he's a god, or because I was just another game to play- but I wished right then that the bus would flip over and kill him- or that someone would accidentally trip and fall on top of him at least. I glared daggers at him; sidling away from his arm. When I did that he just put pouted. "You know, its just too bad that Freeman isn't here to protect you again isn't it?" his voice reminded me of a cat purring; and it made me shiver nervously.
I was pressed up against the bus window so far that I could swear that if the latch came undone and the window flew open; I'd fly away with it. My brain clouded with worry as I sat there; wishing I had stayed home, wishing that I wasn't who I was, wishing that I was brave enough to stand up to Brian. Instead- I just sat their helplessly, shrunk as low as I could be so as to escape Brian's arm.
Resting my head against the wall; I closed my eyes to wait out the ride. The ten minutes seemed to drag on though; as if it were endless. My head was starting to hurt and I could still feel his body heat, meaning he hadn't moved away at all. I wanted to scream aloud, but knew that it wouldn't do a bit of good. When the bus finally did give its usually shriek as if slid to a stop, I don't think I've ever been more happy to hear such an annoying sound. I lifted my head enough to glare at Brian as he sat there talking to a friend who had stopped mid-aisle to ask him something. As if everything were normal. If I'd had the guts to kill someone it would of been him at that moment. My bangs had slipped out of my pony tail and strands of it strung over my eyes. I brushed them out of the way and feeling suddenly brave, I grabbed my bag and shouldered my way past Brian and his stupid friend. Once I was off the bus- I swear I could of kissed the ground if I hadn't been almost late for class already.
Untitled.
14
[What do you think?]
I lay on my perfectly made bed; my arms spread out behind me- staring up at the ceiling thoughtlessly. My sea blue eyes were almost unblinking as I laid there; dressed in my usual large t-shirt and raggy jeans. No matter what happened I kept replaying various parts of the last few days in my head. My words somehow caused him to stop staring at me, and he looked down like a little kid caught doing something wrong. "I dunno." he said, before turning as if to walk away. He took a step- braced himself- swiveled around to look at me again. "You're... interesting. Different." he finally said before turning around and walking off quickly. Great. it was just as if I had yet another nightmare to add to my collection- only I wasn't sure atall what to make of this. I hadn't quite expected what had come out of his mouth. I had expected something more like "because you're so weird." or another smart alec response.
"Why don't you come sit with my friends and I tomorrow? They don't bite." She said with a bit of a smile tugging at her lips. I smiled back at her, knowing that she was trying to be nice. I'd given Yvonne false hopes there- and I wished I would of just said no thank you instead of saying I might. She was a sweet person, probably the closest thing I'd had to a friend in far too long, but her friends were not guaranteed to be as kind as she. They all looked so...popular and showy. Anyways, I had enough to mull over for myself. Still- what was I supposed to do? Tell her that I didn't want to sit with her because I was scared of her friends? I don't think so.
Truly, I wished that I would suddenly come down with some sort of weird illness that made me skip school for a while. I didn't like all of the new things that I was having to face constantly. It was like a huge trunkful of jumbled up things that I had to try out. Some things were ok I guess; but others made me look at a glimpse of myself that I didn't want to see. The side of me that said 'here is what you would of been.' Then I'd look at one of the beautiful, smiling, laughing girls in our high school- and know that it was me if fate had given me a different, more common course.
It was better not to mope and wish about things that never in the world would change, but sometimes it was the only thing I felt like doing. I blinked silently and slowly pushed myself up with my arms into a sitting position. If I didn't get a move on soon I would be walking to school. Standing up I smoothed over the comforter where I had been laying. That was one thing I didn't understand about mom. The rest of my room could be a complete disaster- but my bed had to be perfectly made. Really- it looked like a single house standing after a tornado had gone through.
I slowly walked into the kitchen where- as always- my mother stood cooking breakfast and my father sat at the table reading the newspaper. I don't understand at all why he ever wanted to read about all of the horrible things that happened in the world instead of shielding himself from it like I did, but questioning him would do no good. As long as my father was left alone he was a peaceable man. But get him upset and you had heck ahead of you. I grabbed one of the biscuits that were cooling on top of the stove before peering into the fridge to find the orange juice.
"Honey, I wish you would dress just a little bit nicer for school, everyone is going to think that my child is some sort of homeless child." My mother chiding me about my clothes was a regular ritual lately. I sighed and poured a glass of juice for myself and my father.
"Why not?" I contradicted with a bit of a shrug. "I'm hardly noticed anyways. And if I am; its just to trip me or make some sort of crude joke." I shouldn't of just said that. So far I had plaid 'everything's great mom' fairly well and hadn't been questioned too much. Those last few words were going to send my mom into a frenzy of questions. My father made a har-umping sound and folded his newspaper. I set his glass of juice in front of him before he said anything.
My mother just tossed her hands in the air in a surrendering motion before dumping something into a strainer. I drained my glass of juice then grabbed up my bag. "See you guys." I half mumbled before escaping out into the hot August air. I walked down the street with one hand over my face to shade my eyes somewhat from the sun. A group of girls was already gathered at the end of the street as always so I stood off a little from the group untill the loud, grumbling bus came. I set my bag down at my feet and crossed my around as if they would hide me from the world; trying to ignore the giggling chatter of the girls beside me.
"No way, who said that Ana?!"
"Jacob Conners;you know, Max's friend? He said he saw Max hanging around with Rachael yesterday-"
"-No suprise there. Rachael is always hanging all over every guy in the school..."
"Well I heard that she's taken a liking to Nate lately, so what would she be doing with-"
Finally the bus pulled up with a shreik that could wake the dead. I winced at the sound, but at the same time I was thankful that it came. Every single day those girls always had some sort of stupid gossip to talk about- most of it being completely made up. A few times I had even wondered if they were talking about me, because every now and then they would all huddle out as if to block me out and shoot glances over at me as they whispered secretively. Oh well- what did I care?
[What do you think?]
I lay on my perfectly made bed; my arms spread out behind me- staring up at the ceiling thoughtlessly. My sea blue eyes were almost unblinking as I laid there; dressed in my usual large t-shirt and raggy jeans. No matter what happened I kept replaying various parts of the last few days in my head. My words somehow caused him to stop staring at me, and he looked down like a little kid caught doing something wrong. "I dunno." he said, before turning as if to walk away. He took a step- braced himself- swiveled around to look at me again. "You're... interesting. Different." he finally said before turning around and walking off quickly. Great. it was just as if I had yet another nightmare to add to my collection- only I wasn't sure atall what to make of this. I hadn't quite expected what had come out of his mouth. I had expected something more like "because you're so weird." or another smart alec response.
"Why don't you come sit with my friends and I tomorrow? They don't bite." She said with a bit of a smile tugging at her lips. I smiled back at her, knowing that she was trying to be nice. I'd given Yvonne false hopes there- and I wished I would of just said no thank you instead of saying I might. She was a sweet person, probably the closest thing I'd had to a friend in far too long, but her friends were not guaranteed to be as kind as she. They all looked so...popular and showy. Anyways, I had enough to mull over for myself. Still- what was I supposed to do? Tell her that I didn't want to sit with her because I was scared of her friends? I don't think so.
Truly, I wished that I would suddenly come down with some sort of weird illness that made me skip school for a while. I didn't like all of the new things that I was having to face constantly. It was like a huge trunkful of jumbled up things that I had to try out. Some things were ok I guess; but others made me look at a glimpse of myself that I didn't want to see. The side of me that said 'here is what you would of been.' Then I'd look at one of the beautiful, smiling, laughing girls in our high school- and know that it was me if fate had given me a different, more common course.
It was better not to mope and wish about things that never in the world would change, but sometimes it was the only thing I felt like doing. I blinked silently and slowly pushed myself up with my arms into a sitting position. If I didn't get a move on soon I would be walking to school. Standing up I smoothed over the comforter where I had been laying. That was one thing I didn't understand about mom. The rest of my room could be a complete disaster- but my bed had to be perfectly made. Really- it looked like a single house standing after a tornado had gone through.
I slowly walked into the kitchen where- as always- my mother stood cooking breakfast and my father sat at the table reading the newspaper. I don't understand at all why he ever wanted to read about all of the horrible things that happened in the world instead of shielding himself from it like I did, but questioning him would do no good. As long as my father was left alone he was a peaceable man. But get him upset and you had heck ahead of you. I grabbed one of the biscuits that were cooling on top of the stove before peering into the fridge to find the orange juice.
"Honey, I wish you would dress just a little bit nicer for school, everyone is going to think that my child is some sort of homeless child." My mother chiding me about my clothes was a regular ritual lately. I sighed and poured a glass of juice for myself and my father.
"Why not?" I contradicted with a bit of a shrug. "I'm hardly noticed anyways. And if I am; its just to trip me or make some sort of crude joke." I shouldn't of just said that. So far I had plaid 'everything's great mom' fairly well and hadn't been questioned too much. Those last few words were going to send my mom into a frenzy of questions. My father made a har-umping sound and folded his newspaper. I set his glass of juice in front of him before he said anything.
My mother just tossed her hands in the air in a surrendering motion before dumping something into a strainer. I drained my glass of juice then grabbed up my bag. "See you guys." I half mumbled before escaping out into the hot August air. I walked down the street with one hand over my face to shade my eyes somewhat from the sun. A group of girls was already gathered at the end of the street as always so I stood off a little from the group untill the loud, grumbling bus came. I set my bag down at my feet and crossed my around as if they would hide me from the world; trying to ignore the giggling chatter of the girls beside me.
"No way, who said that Ana?!"
"Jacob Conners;you know, Max's friend? He said he saw Max hanging around with Rachael yesterday-"
"-No suprise there. Rachael is always hanging all over every guy in the school..."
"Well I heard that she's taken a liking to Nate lately, so what would she be doing with-"
Finally the bus pulled up with a shreik that could wake the dead. I winced at the sound, but at the same time I was thankful that it came. Every single day those girls always had some sort of stupid gossip to talk about- most of it being completely made up. A few times I had even wondered if they were talking about me, because every now and then they would all huddle out as if to block me out and shoot glances over at me as they whispered secretively. Oh well- what did I care?