blownaway

Status:
Joined: June 27, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 312661

Im Alyssa, i'm 15 and i live in Australia. 
I have two sisters (17, 11) and a brother (24), my parents divorced when i was 11.
My dad remarried, mum didn't. i live with my dad and step-mum and see my mum on weekends and holidays.
My older sister is a b*tch and lives with my mum, cause my dad couldn't handle her and kicked her out. 
I love country music and never really watch TV. School is my own personal hell - I was bullied in primary school,
but since moving to a new area after my parents split, that stopped. For the first time in my life, I had friends.
I have three best friends (Kelsey, Anna and Josh) and about eight others who I'm pretty close to,
but from what happened in primary school, I still can't trust the people around me and doubt most relationships.
I was diagnosed with depression last year. The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is
my little sister and my niece and nephews. My sister is 10, my niece (brother's daughter) is three
& my nephews (brother's sons) are 5 and 1. 

Quotes by blownaway

I can't do this any more.
I'm sorry.
2 1 blownaway blownaway
sdfg
cutting isn't the only way people self-harm. 
stop acting like the only 'depressed' people are the ones who cut.
anything that causes self-inflicted pain is self-harm.
that includes burning, cutting, hitting, scratching, pinching, flicking,...
there are so many ways for people to self-harm, 
and focusing only on cutting is turning a blind eye to those who use other methods.
30 4 blownaway blownaway
depression
One in five. 
That’s how many anorexia sufferers die.
20%.
My friend just had someone in her family diagnosed with cancer. He has an 84% survival rate. 
You are more likely to survive cancer than you are to survive anorexia.
That is how deadly this disorder is. 
This is not a phase. This is not a diet.
This is life or death.
19 0 blownaway blownaway
ed

You're trying not to let the first tear fall out,
trying not to think about turning around.
You're trying not to get lost in the sound,
BUT THAT SONG IS ALWAYS ON
so you sing along.
 
30 0 blownaway blownaway
sad

It rains in your bedroom;
everything is wrong.


21 0 blownaway blownaway
taylorswift

You feel so low you can't feel nothing at all.
 
22 0 blownaway blownaway
taylorswift

Depression is like a war;
YOU EITHER WIN
          or die trying.

192 4 blownaway blownaway
sad
Everyone seems to think that to be sad, you need to cry.
I'm always sad, but I never cry. At all.
10 1 blownaway blownaway
sad
I honestly don't see the point in doing anything anymore. Nothing seems to matter. It feels like I'm trying to walk through quicksand.
5 0 blownaway blownaway
personal
I'm so scared of the future. I don't have any idea of what I'm going to do next year, and I only have a couple months to decide. I don't want to grow up, move out, get a job, pay bills. I know I'm going to end up alone, cause I suck at keeping in contact with people. I'll probably stop talking to all my school friends within a couple months of graduation. I don't want to go to college, but everyone expects me to. All I really want is to curl up in a ball and hide from everything. Maybe it would be easier to just die.
4 0 blownaway blownaway
personal