dolph*

I have gunpowder in my chest
instead of a heart now,
and it escapes my lips
shaped like a bullet
with your name on it.

Soft people become dangerous
when you destroy the things
they hold dearest.

 

 

That's when I understood why some women light s.hit on fire: it isn't about getting someone to come back, it is about realizing that who I was when I let you stay needed to be burned down to the ground.

i do not care about you. i am 100% over you. i love another boy. 
or am i?
yes, i am.
now stop questioning your feelings. 
he doesnt want you.
the other boy does.
the other boy wasnt touching you like how he was.
you havent known the other boy since you were 9.
the other boy isnt as nice.
the other boy hates you.
you lost your chance.
he thinks youre annoying and clingy.
he doesn't care about you
or me
or the rest of us.
you only need the other boy. 
and us. 
you need us. 
you should go after the other boy.
the one who hates you. 
why would i do that? 
he's still one of my best friends. 
he does love me. 
doesnt he?
little girl
we'll make him love you
or he dies.
-my schziophrenic diary.
july 12th 2014, 1:03 am est 
italics are the voices in my head
non-italics is just me thinking

last week i was at a coffee shop with my boyfriend and this guy i know was working there and i asked if i could have a coffee and he just replied with 'no' and then stared at me for like five seconds and i didn't know what to do even though he was obviously joking so i just kind of shuffled back and hid behind my boyfriend for five minutes

i've missed sharing my socially awkward adventures with the internet