Quotes added on Sunday, September 10 2006

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Say the word COW before each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW After each word

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look

Now say the word COW before AND after each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look

Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
It's wondrous what a hug can do.
A hug can cheer you when you're blue.
A hug can say, "I love You so"
Or, "I hate to see you go."
A hug is "Welcome back again,"
And "Great to see you! Where've you been?"
A hug can soothe a small child's pain,
And bring a rainbow after rain.
The hug, there's just no doubt about it---
We scarcely could survive without it!
A hug delights and warms and charms,
It must be why God Gave us arms.
Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,
Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers;
And chances are your favorite aunts
Love them more than potted plants.
Kittens crave them, puppies love them;
Heads of states are not above them.
A hug can break the language barrier,
And make travel so much merrier.
No need to fret about your store of 'em;
The more you give, the more there's more of em.
So stretch those arms without delay
And give someone a hug today!
Although it's quite a statement
Well, it happens to be true
The best friend I have ever had
I'm glad to say, is you.
You're there if I should need you
And you never turn away
I know I can depend on you
At any time of day.
We've had our ups and downs
As nearly everybody does
But problems never last for long
With special friends like us.
Some people have so many friends
With whom they spend their time
But no-one has a best friend
Who's as wonderful as mine.
So thanks for always being there
Your friendship's strong and true
And I just want to let you know
I'm always there for you !
DON'T [B E] A *FOLLOWER*
B-E A =Leader=
B-E YOUR[SELF]
Im Only Me
Not Who You Want Me To Be
I Like My Own Skin
I Change For No One
Soo DOn't Try To CHange Me
&& Elimanate My Flaws
Because My Flaws Are What
Make Me Beautiful : )
Love Is Rare
It Only Comes Every So Often
Once You Have It
Hold On To It Tight & Never Let Go
As Our Eyes Met
I Could See It In Your Eyes
You Felt The Same Way
As Our Hands Meet
I Knew You Never Wanted To Let Go
As Our Lips Touched
I Knew You Loved Me
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