Best Delicious Quotes This Week

I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it's more of a wrap.

Whoever snuck the "s" in "fast
food" was a clever little bas/tard.




 

Parenting is eating a dirt
covered banana your toddler serves to you and liking it to avoid a tantrum.




 

My yard is full of bear traps
because I refuse to share my milkshakes.

When I hear myself eating crunchy
food, I wonder if other people can hear it, too.




 

My logic:
I exercised for a minute
So I deserve
To eat a pail of ice cream