Best Thishappened Quotes Today

Teacher: If you lose your textbook it's a $75 fine.
Girl in my class: But you can, like, buy a shirt with that.
Me: Well for $75 at Burlington I bought 3 shirts, 2 pairs of jeans, a dresser, 2 dogs, a cat, 4 houses, and Alex Pettyfer.
Me: Now that's something to brag about.
Me: Burlington, Brag about it.

          *in English*
          Girl: Like, what's the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek?
          Every male in the room: *slowly turns head towards her*

          Kid in my class: *goes up to teacher*
          Kid in my class: I have a question.
          Teacher: Okay.
          Kid in my class: *asks stupid question*
          *reread 7 times*
          Kid in my class: *goes up to teacher*
          Kid in my class: I have a-
          Teacher: If you have ONE MORE QUESTION
          Teacher: Then ask my åsshole because it's the only one who gives  a shït.

Me: *gets tips of my hair dyed*
Guy: So, are the tips of your hair naturally red?
Me: Are you naturally stupid?

Teacher: We're breakin-
Me: FREE, SOARING, FLYING, THERE'S NOT A STAR IN HEAVEN THAT WE CAN'T REACH. 

This is Really How The Ice-breaker Went in School
Teacher: Welcome to ninth grade, go around and introduce yourselves, say something about yourself- your age, your name, and a fact about you. Start us off, *kids name*
Kid: I'm *name*, I'm 14 and I play 6 sports after school; football, baseball, basketball, motorcross, swimming, and hockey. 
Teacher: That's great! I'm sure you've won your fair share of championships. 
Girl: I'm *name*, I'm 14 and I dance hip hop and ballet after school on Tuesday and Thursday. 
Teacher: You'll have to show us someday.
Me: I'm Caitlin, I'm 13 and I... like cheese pizza... and nutella.
Teacher: That's... nice. 

Teacher: So, tell me how 
you want your future to be.
Me: Well, I want to marry a
guy and be a stay at home
mom with my four children
Teacher: NO ERIN, THAT
WILL NOT HAPPEN! NEVER
EVER DEPEND ON A MAN.
HE'LL RUN OFF WITH SOME
NEW YOUNG 22 YEAR OLD
WHOSE PRETTY AND GOT
BIG BOOBS AND YOU'LL BE
LEFT ALL ALONE WITH YOUR
FOUR KIDS UNEDUCATED
AND HOMELESS. DON'T GET
MARRIED, YOU WILL GET
DIVORCED AND DIE.

Person: Ew, you talk to her? She's so ugly!
Me: Well she happens to be the loveliest person I've ever met...

f o r m a t  j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

At The Library, Checking out a book
LIbrarian: What's your name?
Me: *standing behind her while she's on the computer* Caitlin
Librarian: *starts typing 'Kat-*
Me: Cai
Librarian: *continues typing 'Katcai-*
Me:...