Tumblr Quote #6840012
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a fun thing to do: say “no thanks, i’m a vegetarian"

a fun thing to do: say “no thanks, i’m a vegetarian" when people hand you their newborn babies

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dolph*

posted July 27, 2013 at 3:59pm UTC tagged with tumblr, hahahaha, newbornbabies, funny

more quotes by dolph*

doctor: are you sexually active? me: yes doctor: *takes a deep breath and sighs* doctor: can you describe what it's like? doctor: please
"son, get in here there's been a terrible accident" "yeah dad, what is it?" "you son. 15 years ago"

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i'm seriously considering filling my pockets with glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude, i'll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and realease the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid.
Boy in my class: Hey, nice name. Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday.
People: Oh my gosh! He looks just like you! Me: What on earth are you talking about? That baby was popped out literally 5 minutes ago. You wanna know what it looks like? A potato. Just a potato. Nothing else.
*Me going to bed* Me: if I go to bed now, I'll get 7 hours 37 minutes and 52 seconds of sleep Me: 51 seconds Me: 50 seconds Me: 49 seconds Me: WOAH how did I get my laptop up here with me? Me: well i guess I have to go on witty Me: and facebook Me: and tumblr Me: and twitter Me: and pinterest Me: we might as well look at the news Me: dude what am I thinking, I never check the news. *puts laptop down* Me: sh/t. its been like two hours, now I'll only get 5 hours of sleep, better fall asleep NOW. no distractions Me: Me: Me: Me: I wonder what would happen if I just became a completely different person tomorrow and I was really outgoing and fun and everyone loved me. I mean, I could change the world. It just takes one person to make a difference. That could be me. I COULD CHANGE THE WORLD. LOOK OUT WORLD. HERE I COME! Me: Me: loljk. Me: okay, i'm gonna fall asleep now. Me: any minute now Me: awesome, I'm almost asleep Me: Me: Me: *suddenly needs to pee, remembers the 582935 tons of homework I have to do, and that I have to go to school early tomorrow* Me: -_- Me: i'm done.