i broke up with gym class.
it just wasn't working out.
Do
you
know
what's coming
back? Boomerangs.
What do you call a box full
of underwear? A BRIEFcase.
Me: *to someone I can't stand* I'll love you until plastic flowers die.
Me: *throws plastic flowers into furnace*
Jesus: Need an Ark?
Jesus: I Noah guy.
Say "punny" intead of "funny" one more time. I. Dare. You.
My dad: So your sister is trying to talk mom into getting another
cat-
Me: That's going to be a CATastophe. ⌐■-■
My dad:…ಠ_ಠ
Me: You really shouldn't talk to me if you don't want me
to do that.
