fionarose

It was so easy last time
Or maybe I was just naive
But baby, loving you was as easy as breathing
You were my whole world, my husband to be

Then something went wrong, we took a turn for the worst
I ended up alone
And you found all these other girls
Hook ups and dates, that was your game

We began to talk, and closer we became
Soon we were friends again
Before I knew it, I was in your arms, hoping I wasn't just another game
But you asked me back, I told you yes
Spilling my secrets from the last three months

I told you of the party I was at, and of the guy I hooked up with the night before
I was only being honest
I thought you needed to know
But instead of telling me that you still love me you looked at me like you didn't know who I am

That hurt at first, but it was okay
You didn't know me and I didn't know you
Not anymore, but we were learning
As I learned more, I found you weren't the guy I fell for those years ago
You were different, but I still loved you
I just had to search for the you that I loved
The more time we spent together that easier it was to find you, until you stopped letting your guard down

We started to fight
And we both played dirty
The pain still raw in our hearts
To protect yourself was the aim, even if you hurt the the other
Of that we were both guilty
Oh so many things were said
Some weren't meant
But others were
Things were worded wrong and left a mark
But we still loved each other

You used my hook up against me
And I used yours against you
It was like a fight between school children, not lovers
Looking at it now, that's all we are
School children who are too immature for a thing as complicated as love
Even so we were in love

The good times began to outweigh the bad
And we thought we were moving forward
But we were constantly falling backwards
We stopped sharing as much about our lives, telling each other only trivial things
Protecting our hearts
We thought it would be the same
As easy and happy as last time
We spoke of things like marriage and kids
Of a future together
But not like we used to

We said the same cute things
And we would tickle each other
I would still hide your keys so you couldn't leave, trading them for a kiss
I would still listen to your heart, and how much I missed it's steady rhythm
You would tell me how you missed me holding you to sleep, and I would tell you the same
And we still talked to each other like we were all of four years old
But it never felt the same

But somewhere along the way the "I love you"s and everything else lost all meaning
The smiles became fake
And the tears came more frequent
All our trust faded
And old habits were revived
We both fell apart
Along with our relationship

But I still wish you didn't have to leave

I hate this. One day we were happy and smiling, The next day we were over. It breaks my heart that I never have a chance to be happy with you again, But it hurts even more that you threw us away like we meant nothing

Why did you give up so easily? Why aren't I enough for you?

I don't hate you for breaking my heart,
I hate myself for letting you do it

You can't do that to me. You can't tell me that you found my ring, The one you were going to PROPOSE to me with, And act like you want a future with me, Then break up with me a week later because its too hard. You wouldn't do that if you still loved me.

I thought it might help fill the void, make the pain go away- even fir a little while. But now I'm an emotional wreck. I thought that him holding me like you used to would make me happy again. But it didn't, it only hurts more. You couldn't handle me having that kind of history with a friend... And baby, I wish there was something I could do to make you love me again

I tell you I'm experimenting with how many I can take before I get sick But really, I'm experimenting with how many I can take to make me not wake up again

I can't do this anymore...

I can't do this anymore...

If you call me fat and I still love you,
You must be pretty f*cking amazing