Anxiety: This too shall pass, even if that sounds corny and cliche. Your anxiety will subside, you are not dying, you will not die from this, everything is going to be fine. Keep taking deep breaths, try and stay focused.
Depression: You are valid and your emotions are valid. You are a good, strong person, even if you don't feel like you are right now. Things do get better, and I know you can get through this.
Se.xual Orientation: Your body, your life, your bedroom. You choose what you do with it, and I get no say in the matter, because I am not you. I'll respect you no matter what.
Bipolar: The sun also rises. For all your bad days, weeks, or longer--you also have good ones just beyond the horizon. You know better than anyone what it means to finally hit those "highs" in your life. And I hope that you just keep growing and strengthening yourself through your treatment to extend those happy moments.
Self harm: This is your body and I'll never pass judgement over you for the things you choose to do with it. However, you should really consider speaking with a counselor about this. Not because you're "bad", but because I just want you to be safe.
Eating disorders: It's okay to eat, you have permission. Eating will not make you fat, ugly, or worthless. Eating will make you strong, healthy, and lively. You deserve to eat, you deserve happiness.
Abuse: What they did was wrong, and you had no consenting part in it. You have no need to feel guilty or shamed, although I understand that may be exactly how you are feeling right now. They're the ones at fault here, and the ball is entirely in your court if you choose to report them for that, which you are rightfully entitled to do.
Suicide: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are valuable and your existence is valuable. There are billions of people on this planet, and even if you think everyone hates you and no one cares, they do and they will. You can find so many friends and loved ones if you just allow yourself the time to look for them. The world turns out to be a beautiful place and you deserve to be alive to see that.
Se.xual assault: What they did was vile and disgusting. Yes, you're now left with this horrible, traumatic event to move on from, but your life is not entirely lost. Recovery is possible, and an unfortunately large number of people have to go through that-- but they make it to the other side. So can you, you can do this. You're not dirty, you're not a "s|ut" or a "wh0re", you are a human being whose rights were violated. But you are strong, and I know you can move past this in due time.
Multiple Personality Disorder: I'll always love you no matter who you are. I only hope the absolute best for you during your recovery and treatment, and maybe one day I'll be so privileged as to love you as one whole.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The pain of suddenly reliving horrific events is almost unimaginable for me. Please try and remember that although it feels like it's real and it's happening right now, that it's not. You are okay, you are fine, and you are safe. You are in the present here and now, and that past can't manifest itself again to come and physically hurt you. Everything is just fine, these feelings will pass and you're going to be okay.
Schizophrenia: I am real and I can promise you that. I care. Try and find something grounding for you, an object that you can cling to to help you distinguish between whether or not you're hallucinating. You are not a freak, you are not a monster. You're a human being with rights and emotions who happens to be ill right now.
Suicide: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Anxiety: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Depression: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Anorexia: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Bulimia: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Any ED: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Schizophrenia: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Bipolar: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Austism: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
OCD: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Turrets: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Personality disorders: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Chronic Pain: Don't joke about something that you don't understand
Mental illness: DON'T JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
from a TV show and for a while i was afraid because i thought i had it since i aways heard my own voice in my head so finally i tole a doctor and he told me what i experienced was called thinking.
trusts
chapter 2
alyson's P.O.V
please listen
to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xX3xpqrCUU
while reading
*2 weeks later*
I decided to get outside for a walk again. I never seen Trevor
since that one day.
I wanted to see him again. I stepped out the door and walked
around the forest.
Trevor's home is right across mine and a bit to the
right.
I peeked over the trees and saw his house. I walked over there
for the first time.
Before I knocked, I looked around the windows. It was covered in
white drapes and the windows itself was all full of scratch
marks. It looked kind of scary, and old. It's sad. I knocked
and waited for 30 seconds until I heard footsteps. The door swung
open and it was Trevor. I smiled as he stared at me.
"Hey." he stuttered.
"Hey. Sorry if I scared you barging in like this."
"N-no. It's fine. Come on in."
I went through the door and looked around the house.
"It's a mess, I know. If only I knew you were going to
come, I would've..cleaned this place up a bit."
I grinned. "It's alright," I turned back to him
after looking around the house, "I wasn't planning on
coming. I just did." I looked at him and noticed his t-shirt
is all dirty and his hair is messy. Like he was in a fight.
"Are you alright?"
Trevor looked at me, confused. "Why do you ask?"
"Well...I was just wondering. I mean, you look pretty
dirty."
"I know. I've been doing a lot of..cleaning."
I studied his face and knew he was lying. "C'mon Trevor,
you can tell me what really happened."
He looked down and went back up. "Mary. Helping her out can
be kind of crazy. She doesn't really like me." I was
kind of confused. "Who's Mary?"
"The little girl I told you about that's in my basement.
Yeah, she keeps trying to injure me and run away. Everytime I
catch her, it's difficult to calm her down."
I nodded. "Oh, I see."
"Yeah. Would you like anything to eat?"
"Oh, no I'm fine. Thank you."
It was an awkward silence. "I never had a chance to give you
my number. Would you like it now?"
I nodded. "Yeah sure." We both swapped numbers.
Then I heard a bang.
"Um...you should go. Now." Trevor said seriously.
"Why? Is it Mary?"
The bang became louder and so did the sound of a window
screeching.
"Go! Now!" yelled Trevor, "and run!"
I ran out the door as fast as I could. I felt like something was
following me.
I ran faster and faster and the sound of footsteps grew
louder.
And something grabbed me.
I was trying my best to scream and try not to look who it is. I
knew it was Mary.
I heard Trevor yell out her name. He came and took Mary away from
holding on to me.
I felt dizzy. I didn't know what just happened. I looked
around. Trevor left with Mary so fast.
Was this just a dream? Because it didn't seem so real.
I shook my head and walked away.
I just want to know, why does Trevor have to take
care of a little girl with Shizophrenia?
_______________________________________________________________
Next chapter, Trevor's POV? I don't really think so. You
need to understand more until you get to him. Cause he can be
confusing? Any questions? PLEASE ADD FEEDBACK!
Don't forget to listen
to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xX3xpqrCUU
or am i?
yes, i am.
now stop questioning your feelings.
he doesnt want you.
the other boy does.
the other boy wasnt touching you like how he was.
you havent known the other boy since you were 9.
the other boy isnt as nice.
the other boy hates you.
you lost your chance.
he thinks youre annoying and clingy.
he doesn't care about you
or me
or the rest of us.
you only need the other boy.
and us.
you need us.
you should go after the other boy.
the one who hates you.
why would i do that?
he's still one of my best friends.
he does love me.
doesnt he?
little girl
we'll make him love you
or he dies.
-my schziophrenic diary.
july 12th 2014, 1:03 am est
italics are the voices in my head
non-italics is just me thinking
day one:
I thought the hallucinations were gone. Everything was getting better. but no. the hallucinations were stronger than ever last night. I saw demons and devils. I heard screams and chants, the noise you hear when fire flickers. I couldn't scream, I was creeped out. then, the worst thing happened. I looked at myself into the mirror and I saw myself morphing into a devil. I had horns growing out of my head, a read face, a flared nose, the 9 yards. I didn't tell my mom, I was too worried she would judge or say I was faking it.
Please, don't judge me, this is a rant.
When I was little I learned what schizophrenia was from TV
and for a while I was really afraid because I thought I had it since I
always heard my own voice in my head so I finally told a doctor and
he infromed me that what I was experiencing was called thinking.
